What's your biggest fu*k up

[dik]

I've been in the trade for 32 years so there have been a few! my most memorable one was setting fire to a mk2 escort in the workshop (welding floor in drivers foot well melted the petrol pipe) pushed it outside just as customer arrived to watch it burn !, the most expensive f-up that I saw was when I was an apprentice hgv fitter, one of the lads was showing off and drove a scammell tipper flat out through the workshop - forgetting the body was raised!!! and the workshop entrance was 3ft lower than the height of the raised body! - Steel RSJ 2 ton of bricks and a fiberglass cab, you can guess the rest!
So who has done worse Meaty-brain perhaps?

[Meat-Head]

So who has done worse Meaty-brain perhaps?

*THANKS* Put these words into a sentence

Not saying details, so don't ask, but i 'got away' with it, and it was
a genuine mistake, and about a month later made the same 'mistake' 'on purpose', trying to aviod the last cock-up (but instantly sussed it)

basically the customer was having an aftermarket piece of hardware fitted
and the instructions said something like 'green/grey wire' but the wires were all factory 'melted' together (like speaker wire is), and when you split it the color goes with it, so what happened was the wrong wires were connected can line got shorted out by a wire that had a small amount of earth on it, but it everything worked for weeks afterwards and one day the car died!

It's not how you get in the shit it's how you get out of it that counts.

So if you have been in the trade for 32 years, you were setting fire to MK2 escorts, with their fixed jet carb-a-tooters, batterys with flat terminals, negative switched reverse lights and fuse boxes you don't touch while i was on the drawing board!

[autotrans]

been in the transmission bussiness for 35 years soon ,
i can remember fitting a tranmission to a daimler hearse
it seemed the ideal vehicle to dump an old roll of carpet
while on road test , only to bump into the customer at
the local tip

[dik]

A lad I had working for me changed some brake pads on a new customer pride & joy, he didn't pump up the pedal afterwards, reversed the shitbox met-rot out of the workshop and smashed it into the brick pillar between 2 lock up garages, that cost me a tailgate, bumper, back panel and some painting, also lost the customer lol

Another time my brother was helping me out, he jacked up a mk1 fiesta on the curved under engine x-member (big bradbury trolley jack) the car slid backwards and the pad on the jack tore a gash up the front panel behind the bumper, hammered it back welded it up and said nowt!

Come on lads own up 119 views and only 2 other cock ups?

[CHRISTOF]

seen a few fires in my time but my personal best was back when i was trainee mot tester we had car up on ramp i was inside checking belts ect guy underneath checking. i whent to clamber in back and hit gearstick it was an automatic and engine was running any one guess what happened next lol?

[dik]

So if you have been in the trade for 32 years, you were setting fire to MK2 escorts, with their fixed jet carb-a-tooters, batterys with flat terminals, negative switched reverse lights and fuse boxes you don't touch while i was on the drawing board!
When I left the HGV game and started my own car repair business it was mini's, all-agro's, mk 1 & 2 escorts, v4 mk1 tranny's, marina's, mk3 & 4 grotina's (lovely motor the cortina!)

life was so easy back then, they needed a service twice a year or the points would close up and cause it to breakdown, they failed the mot every year on loads of expensive welding, (anyone remember the cortina void bushes every year)

Cars only had 5 or 6 fuses, ecu's, fuel injection, emission control etc not yet been invented, you could dump batterys oily rags & filters in the dust bin yes m8 Ive seen some changes

[Meat-Head]

while on road test , only to bump into the customer at
the local tip

At least you tested the car rather than let the customer test it.



had car up on ramp belts . i whent to clamber in back and hit gearstick it was an automatic and engine was running

Now you mention that at the time it was a spanking new Trump Dolimite
spotty apprentise, decided to flick the key, on ramp, in gear and parked
it on a Trump Stag

Somebody elsewhere car on ramp, running decided to touch the gear linkage, high ho silver away.



engine x-member (big trolley jack) the car slid backwards and the pad on the jack tore a gash up the front panel behind the bumper, hammered it back welded it up and said nowt!

Yeah now you mention it, back in 1997, Astra 3 TD, jacked slipped
no idea how it missed everything (think it tipped over), then axel stand
broke number plate in half, glued number plate and self tappered the bonnet prop plastic square back in place


Just remebered somebody eleses fu*k up, but to protect the guilty person, a few details have been changed, but is otherwise 100% genuine story, don't tell anybody, because don't know if alloud to tell anybody.

This story dates back to a cold winter 1901 ish, HUGH carpark the window cleaner guy basicaly comes in at night to lick the windows, when everybody is in bed and that is all he does nothing else, nothing less.

one morning the staff turn up and notice (detail changed) the door frame
is 'moving', on closer inspection the door frame has been converted from wood to lard (true fact) and is melting with the heat of the sun,
then somebody walks outside to see the brand new shining motor car, with one end smashed up, on checking the cctv footage, they see the
window licker man jump into one of the cars, got confused with the
pedals (auto) and rammed the door frame.

They tried faxing the guy, no answer, (rest of story is 100% true) so they went round to his house and found he had hung himself.

(Don't know if he got paid for that night or not)

[lotus791]

mmmmm let me see there has been a few ....no1 has to be drove back to a yard ,climbed out of recovery lorry which we had just built a new body for and fitted a cab to it only to hear a bang about a minute later .ran out only to see it in the distance stuck into the balls of the other recovery lorry which was only a year old .it must have travelled 100m down a slope so you can imagine ..but the story doesnt end there ...the owner decided he would tell the insurance someone broke in and did it as he wasnt fully comp .ins decided as the place was like a security prison they would request the video footage and the police report lol as emmm the video had been wiped and no cop report they told him to sling his 40k claim and would not be insuring him in future .....he later found out if he had told the truth it would have been covered as his 3rd party yard insurance also had comp cover for recovery trucks ..................

no 2 has to be carring a m5 bmw on a fork lift one of the jcb all terrain ones ..with only the glass broke in it and a year old ...only to forget to go down the same hill backwards as it was a good car so it wouldnt slip off ...you could have heard a pin drop as it went end over end all the way to the bottom ...there went another 20k ....


most recent (this ones not mine) 3rd yr apprentice forgets to put oil in the 2007 tdci mondeo he is servicing ....10 mins after it leaves the phone goes and so did the apprentice ........

[Liteace]

Ive had a few, when I was in the UK my workshop was in a petrol station and we had halogen ark lights that were on a timer to light up the used car sales in the eve, 1 of the lights was next to the vent pipes for the four underground petrol tanks, 1 day the petrol tanker pulls in connects the hoses and starts loading the god knows how many gallons of petrol, unbeknown to us someone had been playing with the timer and the lights switch on igniting the petrol vapor coming out the vent pipes, plod along Danny the car cleaner \ tea maker panics and call the fire brigade and tell them its a petrol station on fire with a petrol tanker in, the petrol station is opposite a pub on a busy roads in a fair size town, Len the tanker driver looks up didn?t panic one bit, Danny is jumping around like a nutter shi**ing himself, so Len just turns off the valve on the tanker to stop petrol flow and the fire goes out then opens the valve again to carry on loading the fuel meantime we must have had every fire engine arrive from the south of England and there is Len the tanker driver standing next to the tanker still loading fuel saying ?what the problem, its out now? then the fire inspector arrived checking all the lights and wiring, closed us down for a while till we got it sorted but if it had of gone up Leigh-on-sea in Essex would probably not be on Google maps now

Next on was a XJS V12, 5.3 that was in for service, I drove it up the forecourt to go into the workshop, thought I would show off a bit, stamped on the gas to flick the arse end round the pumps instead of doing a uturn, the throttle got stuck WIDE open, panicked both feet hard on the big brake peddle and it slowly with front wheels locked and on full left hand down ploughed into the wall, done the headlight, bonnet, bumper and grill

Next was a talking Austin maestro, it was a GT or sport or some sh*te, full service and front pads, owner come in just as I was doing the wheels up, lowered the ramp he paid, got in the car started it up , rev rev rev, reversed out fast hit the brakes and then hit the petrol pump, I forgot to tell him to pump the peddle

Next was a diesel Astra van in for service, I told the lad to put the air filter back on, he did, I checked it, where?s the washer is said, don?t know he said, it was there when you took it off I said, don?t know he said, you didn?t drop it down the inlet did you, I said, NO he said, so he found another and put that on. About 4 months later owner calls me car on motorway clang clang clang and stops, gets it back to workshop, I pull of the head and guess what, there is the missing washer holding one of the inlet valves open

And last year here in Tenerife I had a Ren megane 2.0D Sport on the ramp doing timing belt, the kid had been in from next door talking to me and standing near or on the ramp arm, put the ramp up done what I had to do, all done ready to return car to customer started to lower the ramp and then, have a look what happened

[ziggystardust]

i was working on a junkyard with it's very own workshop , i changed the driveshaft on a ford and everything worked well until i did a left-turn and i did hear a big bang , hmm then i did realise that the driveshaft came from a automatic transmission and this car where manual :-)

[dik]

One time after I had just returned from holiday, jetlagged I changed a c.v joint, the customer (a member of the HA motorcycle club) drove it out of the workshop and the wheel collapsed because I had neglected to re-connect the bottom ball joint oops!

[Meat-Head]

somebody elses cock up, pug 406, left the locking pin for lumpy stick in after cambelt change, and got away with ONE rocker thingy, nice idea is they are like fuses, they just break, but damm expensive!

he went to scrapyard, and see in a shed a 'new' motor, and whipped it out before spotted!

[Meat-Head]

Just remebered a couple more, remember these have happen when i was
younger, so much younger than today, so it's not that i'm not
forth coming, just can't remember

1) Think posh motor, expensive, non starter, side of road, excuse me mr fat person with the large arse, could you help push this car into this conveinent laybay, grunt push heave, park, thank mate, oh he's gone already, later one looks down to see ARSE SHAPED DINK, in back panel.

got local body shop to tawat it out

2) Must have been one of my first jobs using a trolly jack, the guy insisted
it came to 'Meat-Head Motor Co' for a starter, slip off jack, twang crome strip, bend gouge, the funny thing was, the bloke who panel beated the strip back, who at the time worked over the road, it was his nextdoor naybours car!

3) did hear a story about somebody was looking at something blowing fuses on something, BIG fuse, carpet went 'schoricho'

4) some saab don't mix up heated seats and fog light plug on back of
dash, otherwise you will end up with balls of fire, when you turn frog lights on.

5) another saab (could tell you reg, but best not), one year old
unplugged ignition switch, plugged back in, 'schoricho' across the dash

6) If i said "****DATA" do you think will get an input from the mods
on this thread!

7) Wounder if we can either get real photos or made up 'cartoon' images
e.g. arse print in back panel, flames from petrol station vents etc and have a D-K downloadable calender for next year, or even a real calender we can pay for?

[bob272]

i cant take the glorry for this but was told about it from another trader.

New Page 1 (http://www.my914-6.com/crap/)

bob

[ziggystardust]

:bounce:Installing some aftermarket product's in a polish bus by the name of Autosan and when i'll was open the electric central i did hear a small bang and the fire fighting system went off and drown the engine ecu so we did have to change it , i dont now exactly what went wrong couse when i inspected the wiring the cable was'nt attached in the house hmmm maybe bad luck i dont know

[avtonega]

Fuc***************

[gmb45]

a bit off topic here but thought u might like to hear it, me and the brother inlaw was changing the differential on a 1974 triumph 2000 once ( they was a coont for ~~~~ing up ) after struggling for a few hours managed to bolt it up ( the bolt holes where ever so slightly out ) rolled it off the ramps to test it, put it in 1st guess what ? it shot backwards, it had got 1 forward gear and 4 reverse, bit confused looked at the diff and the filler plug was on the bottom, so took it off put it the right way round ( bolted up dead easy ) and was sound, thing is ive told a a few people this story over the years and they said its not possible, i said it ~~~~ing is cause i done it :D ( sixpack move if in wrong place )

[ziggystardust]

should be a sticky tread :-)

[Xram]

1. Few years back now early Nineties when I was an apprentice Saturday morning still pissed from the night before (no driving licence). Customer comes in with one of those old rover 214s the square (concerto) one for an MOT. Its an auto got the job of reversing it back on to brake tester. All I can say is drivers door open on a 4 post ramp with pedal on floor hello wing good bye door customer standing watching don't know how I kept my job though weekend was spent at scrapy.

2. Not me but when I worked for Mitsubishi we had a tiled floor great for wheel spins in the wet was showing off to the aprentice with a galant one day. Later that day we ran out of work so across to honda for some more work from them picture this foreman on the pan apprentice drives in to workshop at 10mph gets the boot down (dry floor) straight through the toilet wall. Best bit was out to car lot for a new front end for a red Accord customer never knew

[Wolfpack]

was getting married no just kidding. It was when i first started out so 20 years ago i was doing an oil change got distracted and forgot to put the oil back in then started the car and raced the motor up cause the oil gauge was not going up. now the stupid part was i couldn't think why the gauge wasn't moving cause i was sure i put oil in it. Needless to say the engine started knocking. It must have been all the POT i was smoking at the time that fogged my mind

[teuton]

Well, me too got four reverse gears. happened on a beetle, where the differential was integrated in gearbox. I justinstalled it side reverse. Lot of fun, but you had to practise.

[BeianM]

I was welding the girlfriends Mk1 Cortina, nice car - only got stolen once, amazing as any key fitted it!! anyways, on the ramp saturday job, doing a nice job with the oxy on the front foot well. Sniff Sniff, oh sh*t, The rubber mat that I tucked up out the way (no carpet in those days) had rolled back onto the floor & was well alight. As it was integral to the car, eg screwed in I couldn't pull it out so had no choice but to use a powder fire extinguisher. Weeks later we were still vacuming the dam stuff out. I had to 'pimp her ride' as the steering wheel & dash had somewhat melted.

As an apprentice, every evening we had to bring as many customers cars inside at night. It was a winters evening & dark. I got into a bedford pick-up & drove it in the enterance by reception, which had a glass wall to view the break tester which always made a noise as you went over the plates. I parked up oblivious to any problem & started to go out for the next one, only to be met by the manager screaming at me!! No I had not smashed the glass, but I had not noticed the pick-up had a 'h' frame just behind the cab & as I drove in it caught on the up & over door & ripped the 'h' frame out of the floor. The noise I heard was not the plates over the brake tester :) A customer in reception almost had a heart attack & I got suspended for two days :(

Returning a customers Triumph 2000 from the bodyshop I went up the back of Hillman Hunter & took out all his back lights!!! His fault sill fu*cker was waiting for a bus to pull out after it had already gone, he had probably stalled it. I had to go face the owner and admit to the accident even though there was no visable damage. Although he needed it for the weekend he said to take it back, just as well he did as the engine had shot forward & put a pin hole in the rad. Typically the bodyshop said it had to have a new front panel & Bumper,
ho, hum.

Sure I will remember a few more. Like when one of the lads put mud flaps on the front of the wheel arches of a Princess.
Oh & the foreman who couldn't get the head of a Land Rover so he left it parked on a ramp with the engine hoist attached to the rsj above. "we will just leave it with a little tension on it over the weekend" he said. Came in on Monday, did I mention the ramp was up when we left! Now it had let it self down & the Land Rover still had the head attached to it, which ment the Land Rover was dangling from the rsj. Red faces all around.

[maca]

getting married....

[laldog]

When i worked at a VX dealer we had a customer who had a huge rear wheel drive Camero. I was 20 and thought i could drive. Carried out the service and then came the fun part,the road test. 5 litres,rear wheel drive,wet roads,21 year old mechanic..................
I ended up driving the wrong way up the duel carrigeway as the first time i put my foot down the car just span 180 degrees and ended up the wrong way!!!
The hardest part was my bosses wife met me coming the other way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hippopig]

lwb hi top transit full loaded....slid off the bed of my breakdown truck not long after i started on my new job.....mind you nearly yrs later and im still there

[Meat-Head]

you will properbly best to ask admin for a litle help but what about close the thread in say one month and put a poll on this thread for us to vote the best. Any others after thread close, just open new thread and start again.

[rideon]

getting married....
this one we all do sooner or later,but still,is the biggest!:hahaha:

[ziggystardust]

testing a neoplan dubble decker when the police stopped me and i had to admit that i didn't have any driver's license

[adam28]

MY ONE!

going back a few years now when i was 17, I got to workshop early before my brother and dad (family business) opened the car door to see if the car(XR2) would start that had been on charge all night, yep it started alright and was in gear and went straight through the workshop wall! Managed to jump in it and get the fcuker stopped.I quickly backed it up to where it was.And put all the bricks back in the workshop so it looked like it was hit from the other side.;)
And when me brother and dad got into work i said a lorry had backed into the wall and ~~~~ed off.It was a scrap metal dealer on the otherside of the wall and lorries were always in and out. They believed me and still dont know to this day!
And the best thing is that the guy who owned the scrap metal firm payed for the wall to be rebuilt,how cool was that!
And if your wondering what happened to the car, the damage was not bad at all. And whats even better is that it was in for a bonnet and sides respray anywaylol


Cheers

Adam

[mikeslocks]

tHE WORST f*UCK UP i HAD TO FIX UP. sory had caps on I was not yelling bloaks. This mechanic on a nissan maxima replaced every every thing on the colum turn signal wipeer unit and every thing else on the colum for a intermitted turn sig. In three minutes I checked relays no power to them ran back to the fuse box. After he spent over 1100 inparts after hours it was a fuse that the plug in was loose bent them out some and soldered on the fuse blade to make it thicker (works on you willy also if you a borg(startrek joke)). Hes one of them mechanics that just throw parts on till he might hit it. Billed the buy 2600usd just because they needed to pass inspections. And he knew he was a hustler and he had it. I fell bad for that guy untill this day.

[Meat-Head]

Hes one of them mechanics that just throw parts on till he might hit it. Billed the buy 2600usd just because they needed to pass inspections. And he knew he was a hustler and he had it. I fell bad for that guy untill this day.

1) The boss would say "try them to elminate them"
2) The dealer would have put them parts on and a new fusebox
3) You have made money out of somebody elses misfortune.

Don't feel bad, feel good.

[rob321]

I was working for Ford Australia and a brand new Ford LTD limited eddition was parked right in the middle of the workshop causing chaos.
There was a note on the dash "DO NOT START THIS CAR" anyhow it needed to be moved (it was an automatic) and no one to help me push it, i checked for oil and water in it, the wheels were tight, i couldn't smell fuel or see anything wrong soooo i put my hand in the window and flicked the key to start it watching out for anything bad happening.
It had a 351 cubic inch V8 in it and it started up on fast idle (about 1500 rpm) then dropped itself ino reverse wheelspun the full length of the workshop went through the wall of the servive managers' office and ended up among the rubble with it's back bumper parked on his desk.
There was no one arround so i grabbed the note and played dumb.

[lotus791]

well into the modern world and present tense.." i have no shame so here goes" iveco 180e15 , phone goes this morning driver says my clutch ~~~~ed has pedal but wont go into gear . send rather large recovery truck and haul it back ..asked the other guy wos it need as i was busy he say clutch ~~~~ed ....so when free ordered new clutch which arrived from iveco in less than an hour (kewl servce) ripped box out looked at old clutch and went " huh! the centre still in it wot the ~~~~" , bunged new cltch back in and went to bleed it takes top of fluid bottle ........NO @@@@@@@ fluid in it ...puts fluid in it and discovers BURST PIPE !!!!!!!!!!!

moral of the story and 1000 quid later ...never trust anyone ,always check yourself and learn not to throw 3lb hammers at people over the sake of a 40 quid pipe :musicus:

[Meat-Head]

moral of the story and 1000 quid later ...never trust anyone ,always check yourself and learn not to throw 3lb hammers at people over the sake of a 40 quid pipe :musicus:
HOW MUCH??

work on theroey you have a used but good clutch to sell to another punter, and if it was only this morning and it was a large toetruck then you must be doing something correct to be able to have done the job, just say to the customer "we had to put a new pipe on as the other was looked weak and swelled and bust whilst bleeding, you dum ~~~ lorry driver"

[lotus791]

300 for the toe and 640+gordon list for the clutch kit iveco are expensive but super service and ten quid for two new hammers (i missed him with the first one)

[Meat-Head]

300 for the toe

THREAD HIJACKED (again)

Wow we though "Gypsy Jonno" was dear ?65+vat 10 miles for a Vivaro.

Speaking of which, limited details "Gypsy Jonno" had an accident and the plods turned, up, good proper smash, in his 7.5T shed, he only had car licence at that time, but the got away.

Same geezer again, his tow truck caught fire :cheer::cheer: after spending ?500 on it!

[patkins]

The good old days were when you opened a bonnet and could see the ground on both sides of the engine. Now you`d wanna be a pigmy to work on stuff.

[Liteace]

The good old days were when you opened a bonnet and could see the ground on both sides of the engine. Now you`d wanna be a pigmy to work on stuff.


I used to love the the old MK1\2 Escorts and Cortina's where you could put your tools on the inner wing, it was like a large shelf area, cant do that anymore, as you say you could see the floor and if you dropped somthing it would come out the bottom these days if you drop somthing its gone forever

[patkins]

I used to love the the old MK1\2 Escorts and Cortina's where you could put your tools on the inner wing, it was like a large shelf area, cant do that anymore, as you say you could see the floor and if you dropped somthing it would come out the bottom these days if you drop somthing its gone forever

My big cock-up was complete rebore on MK1 Cortina(those days 70,000 on clock) valves reground complete overhaul. Two days later engine seized because of rad. hose failure. I console myself with the fact that you dont really have to renew every hose and bolt.

[Meat-Head]

My big cock-up was complete rebore on MK1 Cortina(those days 70,000 on clock) valves reground complete overhaul. Two days later engine seized because of rad. hose failure. I console myself with the fact that you dont really have to renew every hose and bolt.

two days, well the 6 min or 6 mile warranty would have expired so don't worry, be happy.

[patkins]

I used to love the the old MK1\2 Escorts and Cortina's where you could put your tools on the inner wing, it was like a large shelf area, cant do that anymore, as you say you could see the floor and if you dropped somthing it would come out the bottom these days if you drop somthing its gone forever
The MK11 Cortina (box shape) was a classic, Set of spots and side stripes instantly transformed it to racing style. My favourite clutch change job was the Vauxhall Viva .I done a few privately. Gearbox so light you could lie under car,lift out ,replace clutch and plate and lift back in on your own.

[patkins]

I went to tow customer car. Bedford truck too awkward to reverse up snake-like drive. Drove up ,turned badly at top, truck decided to toboggan down well kept lawn to lower level.Needed cutting torch to free my hands from steering wheel and clean underwear. Then, while been watched by owner through his window, freewheeled object car down to towtruck ,hooked up and drove off with a `WHAT LAWN` look on my face. Boss had to apologise of course.

[gregk]

2 weeks in as a apprentice I got 1988 cavalier in for a clutch replacement. First clutch wrong one, customer screaming for a car as had important meeting to go to,[mechanics gone for lunch and left me to it] Went out got new clutch kit and fitted it. Started the car - clutch feels spongy what the f***k, by the time I managed to switch it off - clatter and engine stops. Looks under the car lots of atf fluid on the floor. Yep you guessed it forgot to remove clips from pressure plate. Resulting with all 3 clips imbedded in bell housing. The best part was I never had to pay a penny to put it right.

Not Me but a mate of mine as a apprentice he changed brakes on transit van got called away to do something else. Asked another mechanic to tighten the wheels as nuts where only finger tight. Comes back takes it for road test. About a mile up the road spots a wheel rolling down the road. Just as he thinks to himself look some t**t lost his wheel - Transit hits the floor.

[ArnautuIonut]

THIS IS MY BIGGEST **** UP !
ALSO IT"S NOT MY FAULT !!!!I"M NOT GUILTY !!!


About a year ago i have a customer who need to install a car alarm .He give me the car and go to work . Later , i have work on another car to install a radio .Till finish to install i look at the customer's car and what to see?? FIREEEEEE .
In a second i try to stop the fire with many water , bottles , fire extinguishers , water pipe . The result is :

http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/717/dsc01073t.th.jpg (http://img709.imageshack.us/i/dsc01073t.jpg/)
http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/9497/dsc01068i.th.jpg (http://img709.imageshack.us/i/dsc01068i.jpg/)

For a while my question is "what's happent" ??? As you can see , in front door , no electric window switch ,possible when my client go back and close the door , the wires make contact and no fuse on electric window switch .

[autotrans]

GOLDEN OLDIES
a friend of mine owned a garage in Barking , a customer
came in one day with exhaust blow / " OK mate run it
round the back and over the pit we shall have a look "
not a good move in a Reliant Robin

[del635]

Years ago was changing the oil in my dad's car (octavia tdi) and had a full gallon in and no read on the dip, being young and inexperianced I cracked open another gallon and poured another litre in but still no reading, then I felt the squelch below my feet :)
A friend of mine used to help his uncle in his garage at the weekends when off school, one late night there was a panic to get a mini cooper rally car out for the race the next morning, the car was freshly rebuilt. His uncle told him to fill the 'engine' up with water so they could start it (obviosly meaning coolant) and he took the oil cap and knecked the engine with water, luckily it wasnt started and made it out!

[andreacro]

Year 2007. Having my neighbour helping me overhaul a 442LA mercedes engine. The idiot somehow put some metal piece in the intake mainfold. when we fired it up - BANG. In that moment i actualy peed my pants.

Another overhaul on me.

[Liteace]

Year 2007. Having my neighbour helping me overhaul a 442LA mercedes engine. The idiot somehow put some metal piece in the intake mainfold. when we fired it up - BANG. In that moment i actualy peed my pants.

Another overhaul on me.

Dont let Meat-head know about the peeing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dik]

Dont let Meat-head know about the peeing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That would make a good extra additive to the wet dog/redbull air fresheners you sell!

[Meat-Head]

No Mate, didnt mention "water sport" i was talking about this:


http://www.digital-kaos.co.uk/forums/f152/corsa-combo-1-3-cdti-running-problems-161188-post778446/#post778446

that was a GENUINE mistake, thought you meant about comment in racin-snakes borescope thread.


no time to link diy

[Liteace]

that was a GENUINE mistake, thought you meant about comment in racin-snakes borescope thread.


no time to link diy


GENUINE mistake GENUINE mistake
GENUINE mistake
GENUINE mistake GENUINE mistake
GENUINE mistake GENUINE mistake
GENUINE mistake GENUINE mistake


I'll have a look later, back to work now

[carclima]

somewhere in 93,4 not sure.coleq mechanic came to me with golf3 and airbag lamp.on somehow he is sure driver bag is in problem so this is yob for me to check it..OK after some fight to remove bag from steering whell.closer look in bag plug discover some jumper betwen bag terminal..wow that is the trouble..so after few minutes fight I manage to remove this yumper..test bag on car still lamp is on..ok bag on desk again and take some instruments..for speed measurment of conduity we always use analog multimetar..yust to see does needle move...

so gues what..needle dont move,but f....bag moves completly with myne few toth...bill was terible for bag..and for dentist

[smirnoff_rules]

the welder set fire to a vw beetle in the work shop . ~~~~ me it burned well .. we put it out before the fire engine turned up (20 fire extinguishers ) we were all black and coughing our heads off , the fire office asked me why l was laughing and joking about .. l said " its was my shit heap " glad to see the back off it ,, nothing but ~~~~in trouble

[Meat-Head]

.ok bag on desk again and take some instruments..for speed measurment of conduity we always use analog multimetar..yust to see does needle move...

so gues what..needle dont move,but f....bag moves completly with myne few toth...bill was terible for bag..and for dentist


Nasty. Have NOT blown one with digital meter yet 2 Ohms

[easytech]

2001, Once a year I do service on our own cars jus before MOT.
It was my wife's car turn, a Toyota, it was very busy in the shop so I tought was ready.
Next day she called from the highway that there where strainge noises,,,,, so I said drive home and will look at the evening.
There was no oil in it!
Drain the oil put a new filter on but forgot to fill!!!
Costs my a new engine :eek:

[Liteace]

2001, Once a year I do service on our own cars jus before MOT.
It was my wife's car turn, a Toyota, it was very busy in the shop so I tought was ready.
Next day she called from the highway that there where strainge noises,,,,, so I said drive home and will look at the evening.
There was no oil in it!
Drain the oil put a new filter on but forgot to fill!!!
Costs my a new engine :eek:



Just had a guy here do that with a bobcat like mini tractor, he's just been quoted 11 grand for new engine

[Meat-Head]

Just had a guy here do that with a bobcat like mini tractor, he's just been quoted 11 grand for new engine

Heard a simular story, some guy had a mini digger he refused to let
some bloke borrow it.

Bloke went out to Meaty-Hire in town, hired a spanking new one, tipped
it over, left it running ~~~~ed the hydraulic pump

[easytech]

Luckely costs me 1 grand at the local scrap yard.

[Meat-Head]

Luckely costs me 1 grand at the local scrap yard.

still a lot for a lump of metal that has been 'thrown away'
scrap yards are robbing bastrads

[richy_rich]

Forgetting to torque up one set of wheel nuts on a race car was pretty stupid in retrospect. No one died, so we all had a good laugh about it :)

[smirnoff_rules]

Forgetting to torque up one set of wheel nuts on a race car was pretty stupid in retrospect. No one died, so we all had a good laugh about it :)

YouTube - Opel Kadett Rally Car Wheel Off.wmv was this it lol

[richy_rich]

lol, no but close :)

[Mjolinor]

Servicing a hearse. Black, shiny, pristine condition.

Austin Princess with its own hydraulic jacks built in. The jacks were extended so all the wheels were off the floor. I did all the brakes (drum brakes) bled the system, topped up the brake fluid, generally finished the service.

Let the jacks down and the reservoir I had filled was the jack reservoir so when the jacks were retracted it sprayed half a gallon of brake fluid all over the hearse. You know the effect of brake fluid on cellulose paint.

Lucky me, the car had been polished so much that the brake fluid didn't touch it, was able to get all of it off the car before it even got to the paint but I can tell you it was one hairy moment, no way could I afford to repaint that thing.

[gtmech]

7 series BMW, a simple wiper blade replacement, pull wiper arm up off screen, remove old wiper blade, go and get new wiper blade and come back to find wiper arm had retracted by itself, yup, through the front windscreen, never saw that customer again

[jctech]

Just had a guy here do that with a bobcat like mini tractor, he's just been quoted 11 grand for new engine

I know a guy with a mini digger that needed a new engine, went to sp**** hire, hired a near new digger, swapped the engines and returned it, said it did not run right....... cheaper than a grand from the scrappy.

[jctech]

When I was a 1st year apprentice, the finance manager had a new Triumph 2500 PI, nice car back then, I "borrowed" it to shoot into town to get something one lunch break, on the way back some twat did a U turn in front of me and I rammed her up the ass. All the mechanics at the Triumph dealers were having lunch out in the sunshine and watched me do it as well.

[Liteace]

When I was a 1st year apprentice, the finance manager had a new Triumph 2500 PI, nice car back then, I "borrowed" it to shoot into town to get something one lunch break, on the way back some twat did a U turn in front of me and I rammed her up the ass. All the mechanics at the Triumph dealers were having lunch out in the sunshine and watched me do it as well.


Good job it didn't catch fire, didnt most of them go up in flames when they had a prang, I remember something about the fuel pump keeps running after crash squirting fuel everywhere

[Liteace]

Forgetting to torque up one set of wheel nuts on a race car was pretty stupid in retrospect. No one died, so we all had a good laugh about it :)

That reminds me, when I was in the UK and just started work posh bloke customer owned night shift shop fitting firm just bought a caterham 7 dropped it off to us on trailer towed by his XJS to check out before his 1st weekend race, everyone wanted to drive it, I was last, I gave it large round industrial estate, back end stepped out hit the curb really ~~~~~ed the right hand rear wheel and nocked the axle out of line, they was all standing outside workshop waitng for me to come back and see the rear wheel wobbling about, I denied all knowledge and said it must of been one of the others that drove it, we just put the spare on and let him take it away. It was back monday morning, he said it handled really well left hand bends but wasnt to good on right handers. We had to take it to pain shop and put it on chassis jig to sort the rear end out, we told him he should have got it checked out before he bought it and there's your bill. After that little incident I spent the next six months practicing the art of how far back steps determines how much opposite lock is needed, Im quite good at it now

[Meat-Head]

, I denied all knowledge and said it must of been one of the others that drove it,

This is also standard at M-H-M and Parent Company :dito::goodpost::goodpost:

[Larue]

Some Years ago I was working for Opel dealership. On next ramp from me was working some bloke. He was about 60 and all his life he was working with cars. He was pretty nice chap.
So...one day in our workshop came in some Omega. He had changed brake pads on all wheels, dropped down from ramp, put gear lever in R position( it was automatic and that was what He was thinking) and went stright in the wall at front of him.......then car went back from wall and he did that once more.....
The old man was really shocked by that....poor man....
I knew him for many years and he is one of most accurate technicians which I ever now.
Later all people in our workshop we put money together, and in the same day car went for body repairs and finally all was good.
So.....s..t happens with all of us.

[Liteace]

he is one of most accurate technicians which I ever now.



He couldnt have been that accurate if he didnt know his R's from his D's

[Larue]

He couldnt have been that accurate if he didnt know his R's from his D's
Mate...he was really good. Just things like these sometimes happening!
I saw my college( another one) another day driving car with his legs throw passenger side window! He wanted to switch ignition on.....which was already on.....at least he was lucky.
And I haven't written about my own bad story.... will do another day....today is too good for thinking about dark side of our work..and it's a long and pretty bad story...
Let's leave it for another day.

[Meat-Head]

So...one day in our workshop came in some Omega.


He had changed brake pads on all wheels, dropped down from ramp, put gear lever in R position( it was automatic and that was what He was thinking) and went stright in the wall at front of him......

then car went back from wall and he did that once more.....


Sorry mate, not with you. Sounds like a GOOD thing to do to a Omega.
Only 3 types of people drive them

Maybee he was woundering WHY the same autobox is put in Isuzu Troopers

1) Polish - who don't want to pay anything
2) Old - who moan about paying ANYTHING
3) Freaks - who have no money

[Larue]

Sorry mate, not with you. Sounds like a GOOD thing to do to a Omega.
Only 3 types of people drive them

Maybee he was woundering WHY the same autobox is put in Isuzu Troopers

1) Polish - who don't want to pay anything
2) Old - who moan about paying ANYTHING
3) Freaks - who have no money
That was years ago when Omega was just big car and Opel was thinking about competition with Mercedes.....That was just couple of years old car.....

[smirnoff_rules]

l remember years ago we have a car that failed the mot and customer said keep it , one of the lads was driving like a nutter around the yard in it and the trainee jumped on the bonnet and they went driving down the yard fast and for some reason the lad driving slammed the brakes on .. ~~~~ me the trainie went 50 feet in the air ..

we laughed our tits off but ~~~~ me the kid had skin off all over the place

[Liteace]

I had a V6 2.8 granny auto in for sevice, connected remote starter, started the engine done timing and stuff gave it a rev and it was in drive it pinned me under the work bench, just me in the workshop had to shout for help, the car sales boss come running in laughing his tits off. Nearly broke me ~~~~ing back.

[Meat-Head]

That was years ago when Omega was just big car and Opel was thinking about competition with Mercedes.....That was just couple of years old car.....

That's even better if it was a new one HORRID cars.


Oh BMW 635i convertable DO NOT shut the glovebox untill you have checked it will re-open again :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Bloke was a prise toaster

[sinkyford]

"Bus burnt out,your company is going down" was the phone call
to the supplier of the the turbocharger. The fitter road tested it
on the motorway,back end caught fire burning a hole on the hard shoulder and smoke brought six lanes to stand still.
Motorway resurfacing is generally by renting the lanes shut down with large penalty claims. 1.2 mill was the claim. At the
first instance the supplier instructed a qualified claims engineer
with camera to find the bus and inspect. Turbocharger rubber
oil return hose for sump had been kinked by fitter,oil backs into exhaust and lack of sleep ensues.
TRAINING ,EXPERIENCE, AND ATTENTION TO DETAIL ARE VITAL
always remember "IF YOUR TOO STUPID TO GET THROUGH THE
DAY SOME SOLICITOR WILL MAKE YOU PAY"
care and attention at all times, only been in here weeks but have learnt a lot ,thanks
Brian

[Meat-Head]

The fitter road tested it


1.2 mill was the claim. At the
first instance the supplier instructed a qualified claims engineer
with camera to find the bus and inspect. Turbocharger rubber
oil return hose for sump had been kinked by fitter,oil backs into exhaust and lack of sleep ensues.



1) Precisely FITTER no brains, unbolt - bolt on NEXT
2) 1.2 Mill itemised bill please?
3) KINKY rubber hose, if the carrage way was damaged, ie fire burns up
then how come there was evidence left - should have downloaded
Evidence eliminator

Nice story, nice to hear about so much damage. Was the bus repaired or written off? - Warranty void on turbo as seals would have been damaged

[sinkyford]

I was a nipper,2 in the morning, dark torrential rain in a housing estate. A hamburger van had ceased aka city bakeries 4+ ton
doors open backwards. I was handed the string and told lie in a puddle and tie .Dark, couldn't see anything, tied it to a big bar and stood back. It got towed with a v8 day van. Never been to
a tractor pull or drag racing, but I was impressed. It was the first time I saw a 40 foot dash with a commercial radiator and grill as the parachute.

[teuton]

Have a new one, pretty stupid:

Corsa B came in with blown head gasket. Told the lad to clean out the threads in the block. When tightening the headbolts later it turned out that he had used a standart tap and ruined the fine thread. Had to pull engine to get the inserts done.

[Meat-Head]

Told the lad to clean out the threads

Clean, not muller

[bonecrusher]

I had an Iveco Daily non-stater in the shop.It had been around town with many shops trying to fix it.I eventually found the fault and I knew that i was going to make some good money on this job.I fitted all panels and control units back,parked it outside and about to call the customer to give him the good news and to bring some money! when some guys from the street came running in and said the

(o k hold on before I go on any further let me just say the handbrakes on this thing were not working)

Iveco had rolled down the road and knocked into another truck.It wasn't too serious but the damaged done equaled my bill plus more.It was really windy that day and my guess is because of the square back of the Iveco which makes a large surface area the wind just pushed it out of gear and that was it.

[Meat-Head]

I had an Iveco Daily non-stater in the shop.It had been around town with many shops trying to fix it.I eventually found the fault.

OH NO! This one you have been posting about.

End of the day it came in for non start - you fixed it (what was it?)
not parking brake, take customers money and run.

[BRAVO6]

This one's not workshop, but related. I worked in stores for air cooled specialist in London for a while. Customer was waiting 3 or 4 weeks for a head gasket for some oddball WW Ghia thing. Anyway gasket arrived and I gave him a call to say it was in.
Couple of hours later his missus calls in to collect head gasket. So invoiced it and took the money. She was trying to get it into her bag and it wouldn't fit. Sooo... she promptly folded it in half and stuffed it into the bag.:stickyman:

[bonecrusher]

Like the avatar meat-head!

[Meat-Head]

Like the avatar meat-head!

Thanks admin changed it when i hit http://www.digital-kaos.co.uk/forums/f4/5000-posts-drivel-meat-head-178988/

What was wrong with Iveco/how did you fix it?

[Riche76]

Been over an hour reading these, the wife is going to kill me (should be doing housework!). They're ace, someone should put these stories in to a book, it'd sell loads!!

[cosmin12345]

hello this is a really interesting thread from where i could learn a lot from others mistakes.When i learn from my mistake that is really expensive.

edc 15 smoking after tunning it.My customer sold that car with engine running but without turbo egr coolant temperature function.

[lingnoi]

This is not my f*ckup but as manager I was responsible for getting things straightened out (literally). My 2 late shift guys had just pulled in a car for a complete set of tires when 1 of them came running into my back office and said I had to come to the shop. At first all I could see was the customer's car and nothing amiss. Well, long story short, car had done a nose dive off the car lift from a good 5 feet height and bent frame upwards (at front end). I called customer back over the intercom and as soon as she saw the car she just realized what happened and started balling. So then I had to find a rental car company on Sat night to get this girl home and on top of it all I had her dad calling me threatening to go to the local papers and what not. Total nightmare and we were just starting out in a little town of 15.000 inhabitants where word can get around quickly...

L

[smirnoff_rules]

few more bolts in the ramp me thinks lol

[Meat-Head]

Yeah speaking of ramps.

Meat-City-LPG

Guy came in wanting LPG fitting, we ~~~~ed it off.
It was on their ramp, but the company used bits of wood to 'lift' up the pads on the ramp, bit of wood gave way, went, tipple, toplle, tipple, topplr, CRUNCH, SPLINTER, KNACKER grind.

ramp came out the flooe EVERY PANEL was damaged.

We had car back 2 months later for something else - EVERY panel looked like bee aresoled painted lol..

UNCONFIRMED RUMOR

Same Meat-City LPG
year 2001 BRAND NEW Reno Megraine - he fitted LPG wrong and KILLED ecu on this BRAND nEW car lol.

[dik]

Just re found this thread. Many years ago used to do loads of welding for another garage, had a mini in that needed inner & outer sills, put it on stands, chopped out the rot, replaced all the panels and welded it up, when finished the doors wouldn't close - car was bent like a banana, last job they gave me!

[dik]

More recently had a transit in where the engine was running on its own and screaming it's nuts off with ignition off only way to stop it was to stall engine, had this before on diesel laguna's so diagnosed ~~~~ed turbo feeding engine oil into inlet, funny though oil was about a gallen over full, as customer had just bought van he thought previous owner may have over filled it, so changed the oil and fitted turbo - all ok for about a week, then same thing happened again oil a gallon or so over full. Turns out there is a seal on the fuel pump that can leak diesel into sump, when the oil is thin enough it pisses through the turbo and into the inlet. Not a happy punter!

[tornado]

along long time ago my boss asked me to go outside and get the capri what was left for work to be done so he gave me the keys and off i went keys didnt fit very well but u no how old fords r,got it in put it on ramp got the wheels of etc then my boss asked me where i got the car from, u got it wrong car there was 2 parked outside,boy did i put it back fast lol

[dik]

I set fire to a mondeo last week, seam welding top edge of a skin sill, in the B pillar there is a chunk of foam it caught light and set fire to the seatbelt, attacked it with a water fire extinguisher but couldn't get it to stop smoking straight away so had to get the wheels on, get it off the ramp and out of the workshop, fortunately by then the fire was out, just cost me ?20 for a second hand belt, interior was a bit wet and pants were a bit brown!, but got away with it, dried it out, cleaned pants and said nowt, customer none the wiser

[Meat-Head]

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER
~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS
**** **** **** **** ****.

BIGGEST MOST MASSIVE STUIPDEST THING EVER - WASTED OPPERTUNITY

BUGGER BUGGER, ARSE KICK, ARSE KICK, ARSE KICK.

Had a delivery today from a local dealer, it was them doing us a favour.

They have two vans per day, one which ONLY goes north-south
one that ONLY goes west-east

The van for our area had left. BUT the other van was still in the Depot.

Asked them nicely if the other van could drop theses parts off, yes no problem.

Well the bird she is STUNNING, on par with Tracy Barlow.

She said

"It's hot today"
i'm thinking " Yes you certantly are but i said "yes it is."

BUGGER BUGGER, WASTED OPPERTUNITY

I had the costomer (female) infront of me, that we sort of know.
As the bird is leaving out of ear shot, i said "No it's you that's hot"
costomer said louldy "Give over" or something.

DAMM DAMM DAMM DAMM.

Worse bit is, had the oppertunity to stick on a bussiess card a link

Babybird - You're Gorgeous - YouTube

[Liteace]

Worse bit is, had the oppertunity to stick on a bussiess card a link ?????????




WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Meat-Head]

Worse bit is, had the oppertunity to stick on a bussiess card a link ?????????




WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorry was at lunch time, didn't notice that, was so mad at myself.

SURE would have said it had not had the costomer in my face.

[planktom]

it?s not from me...just posted some time before in a
forum overhere :
tyre delivery to Eurocopter just klick for fullsize and
look at the invoice :top:

http://s14.directupload.net/images/120528/temp/6hpe9r7b.jpg (http://s14.directupload.net/file/d/2904/6hpe9r7b_jpg.htm)

[Meat-Head]

areoplane stuff is EXPENSIVE can't see why the tyres are 'hardly' used!

[maca]

areoplane stuff is EXPENSIVE can't see why the tyres are 'hardly' used!
Thats just way over my head m8 lol

[planktom]

areoplane stuff is EXPENSIVE can't see why the tyres are 'hardly' used!
means that you don?t see the fault ?

[smokey08]

it?s not from me...just posted some time before in a
forum overhere :
tyre delivery to Eurocopter just klick for fullsize and
look at the invoice :top:

http://s14.directupload.net/images/120528/temp/6hpe9r7b.jpg (http://s14.directupload.net/file/d/2904/6hpe9r7b_jpg.htm)

:laugh::laugh: Not the best way to attach the invoice.

[Meat-Head]

:laugh::laugh: Not the best way to attach the invoice.

Well spotted.

Can just see some penpusher moaning they didn't get paid, then the QC guy gets a rocket because the tire leaks.

[Meat-Head]

STALKING UPDATE:-

Right, the above mentioned bird from post #99.
Called her company a few times (genuine calls) - she answered TWICE
each time she said her name. Bit of an unusal name, but thats cool.

Went on that 'F@ce Ache" website, typed in the company name, 7 or so
people came up, simply stalked through there friends lists, untill hit that name.

Then did some 'back stalking' - they ALL have the same bird as their friend.

Once on said birds profile, quickly discovered

1) She is NOT a DK member - WTF

2) She seems to have a HUGH flea bitten dawg.

3) In her CLOSE friends list, is a 'person' who a member of M-H-M
upset 10001%

4) Also in her friends list is a guy who has been to M-H-M
he got a BIG bill for not a lot of effort - he is also a member of
an not even classed as INFERIOR website - the one i got chucked
off before joing DK.

5) She drives a Reno Clio.

6) Because she is NOT a member of DK think it would be best to not stalk her anymore.

SO, i'll just send her a Valentines card, next year to her work, with
a FICTIOUS E-mail address on it - and of course a link to DK.

Still unsure if to click 'add friends' or not! :giveup:

[EssexTech]

My biggest fuc! up was entering the motor trade..... :stupid:

[smirnoff_rules]

givin the son-in-law a job ,, had to lay him off as he was crap,, now getting it in the ear from the family lol

[teuton]

givin the son-in-law a job ,, had to lay him off as he was crap,, now getting it in the ear from the family lol



Got that close to it.

[Mjolinor]

............................

[Meat-Head]

mj - go back few pages, you posted that already!

[Mjolinor]

mj - go back few pages, you posted that already!

Hmm, glad you are awake then :)

That's what getting old does for you. :)

[teuton]

Hmm, glad you are awake then :)

That's what getting old does for you. :)


Don't worry, just enjoy as if it all was the first time.....


(or get a notepad):bounce::bounce::bounce:

[maddy7]

My own was when I was welding an inner sill of a MK3 Escort. Customer didn't tell me he'd had a water ingress problem (usual battery carrier/bulk head sieve situation). He'd filled behind the dash with expanding foam. The flame was blue so I didn't spot it was burning at first. It was only when the top of the dash started to buckle and ripple that I pushed it outside and had to wasted a full extinguisher on the shed. Dash, carpets and wiring loom needed from a scrapper.

I got a PDI when I worked at a Ford dealer on a 2.0i twin cam sierra. It was on the roof of the small multi story car park. I rallied it down the ramps thinking I was on the streets of San Francisco, snaked it down the cobbled street behind the works, on to the main road, back into the car park and across it to the garage. Once in the bay I lifted the bonnet and started to do my checks. I noticed it had no oil filler cap so I picked one up from the stores with the plates etc. It was when I dipped the oil that I realised the factory hadn't put any oil in the engine at all. I just filled it with oil and never saw it again. I've often wondered how long that engine lasted.

There were loads when I worked at a Ford dealers by the other mechanics. One guy drove through the back of the optiplex bay on to a car parked on the ramp behind. The thing was it was a T shaped pit so the front wheels got over the pit, the car bottomed and made a mess of the underneath as well.

Loads of cars started up in gear. One memorable one was when the customer was waiting with suitcases to set off on holiday. The mechanic put his foot inside on the accelerator and turned the key. The car ploughed over his toolbox and into the bench. All the benches had a vice in the middle of the bay so more often than not the bonnet or front panel got a nice impression.

Two identical MK3 escorts Tboned on the car park outside the reception window.

A sunroof hole cut in the wrong place. Before fancy panorama roofs a MK4 cortina went out with a custom built double sunroof.

A sierra body shell painted sunburst red when it should have been cardinal. Painter asked if the doors bonnet and tailgate could be buffed in to match.

One guy came back from road test on the back of a wrecker after hitting three parked cars writing them all off.

At the truck division an apprentice reversed a 7 1/2 tonner into the bosses car pushing it through the front gates on to the road. He did a circuit of the works, spotted the car and promptly started telling everyone that he'd seen the bosses car smashed up out front, as he hadn't felt a thing and didn't know what he'd done. Tannoy message "apprentice report to works office"

One guy drove off the ramp in a fiesta before the apprentice had put the nearside wheel back on.

I've seen one balloon take all the wheel nuts off of a Granada wheel before jacking it up!!!

An apprentice on the new car compound started a car up in gear which hit a car in-front he banged it in reverse and hit a car behind. All cars patched up and sold as new.

My all time favourite was when I was an apprentice, the mechanic I was working with was a real bonus boy, always rushing to make as much money as he could. He drove a sierra on to the ramp for me to adjust the handbrake. When I was letting the ramp down it stopped as they did from time to time. You had to send them up a bit then start down again. It was about three foot in the air and this bozzo backed off. He even defeated the wheel stops that raised up when the ramp came up. The car was about a foot past the rear wheel resting on the sills. When I let the ramp down the wheel stops he'd driven over tore the fuel and brake pipes off.

I could go on and on. The Ford dealers had the worst pay, worst working conditions, but the best laugh I've ever had. It was full of real characters and they where all mad.

[Meat-Head]

Maddy7 mate, can you confirm the Sierrra Saphirre (PRONOUNCED SIEEEEEEIRRRA, SAFFFFFFFIRE), that was the car where the exhause rotted outside in because of all the oil down the inside the exhaust?

ON TOPIC ISH:-


Not motor vechile related, but close.

The other week i downloaded off Ebay a washingmachine, S/R - Skanked Returned, no cometic damage, just non runner. (Trashed by students)

Anyway, one day will be doing a thread in the home and garden section, in assastion with
"Washingmachine and Washingmachine Conversions Magazine" - the one of the photo shoots, simply got an angle grinder and cut some hole in it.

The other day, downloaded another washingmachine off ebay, to repair and sell on, but the front panel is all rusty, had i not cut open the ther one, could have sorted it.

Stripped it for bits! :roflmao:

[maddy7]

Meat-head, it was a Mkii I think, the ones they started plastering in Schultz and wax oil to stop them rotting. The first ones felt exactly like a Cortina and rotten like them as well. I think the Sierra was the first Ford with a bonded windscreen. One tit tried prizing the screen out with his big screwdriver the first time he got one in with a crack and dented the body just above the screen. He really was an idiot. :stupid:

[Meat-Head]

What was the first line from that film
"Four weddings and a funeral"

Ah yes.


"Oh... f--k! F--k!" "f--k-a-doodledo"

So naturally Boff, you speak to the *HOT* bird from the parts department, on a MONDAY, and think, WHO would come to work on a Monday if your going on a Vacation?

No of course of order some flowers ?16.50 to be uploaded to the *HOT* bird from the parts place on a Thursday.

then TWO weeks later you FIND OUT she was on Vacation later in that week.

Does this count as a ~~~ up or not? :giveup:

RELATED THREAD

http://www.digital-kaos.co.uk/forums/f152/whats-your-biggest-fu-k-up-66871/index7.html#post1573589 - post 99 of this thread

http://www.digital-kaos.co.uk/forums/f152/what-would-you-do-159120/index7.html#post1768543

[smirnoff_rules]

this happened along time ago , we had a mk3 escort towed it and the customer said the red light was on and the car was knocking and then stopped and wouldn't turn over , we fitted a recon engine and started it and it was knocking its head off . turn out it was the alternator seizing up lol


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[Meat-Head]

had that before, normally the smell of rubber is a give away.

what did you do about the seized dynamo?

[smirnoff_rules]

put a second-hand one on and said nothing , best way


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[manster]

my biggest **** up was saying " I do "

[Meat-Head]

put a second-hand one on and said nothing , best way

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

That reminds me.

If you get a car in that's running RICH and the computer says

'Lambarda sensor & MAP sensor'

The lambarda sensor is a million pounds, so you order the map sensor.

So you clear the light, costomer gets TWO miles, then light comes on.

Same faults, you fit the new a map sensor, costomer doesn't even get out the parking lot, light on.

So you tell costomer to naff off shopping.

Then you find the airfilter is *BLACK* - change it - say noting, only ?5 - i over priced the MAP sensor anyway. :giveup:

[willywonker2010]

me being born lol

[Meat-Head]

me being born lol

second that i was nearly decleared VOID, sadly as you can see, didn't happen.

[chris1955]

I remember changing the "box" on an old beetle everything went well fitted exchange box from scrappy no bits left over etc. Taking it for test drive and had 4 reverse gears and 1 forward, Now thats why a L/h/d G-box wont work on a R/H drive car!:giveup:

[Meat-Head]

eh? if from italy expect that, but vw?

how did you fix it, unless diff put up side doon

[Liteace]

I remember changing the "box" on an old beetle everything went well fitted exchange box from scrappy no bits left over etc. Taking it for test drive and had 4 reverse gears and 1 forward, Now thats why a L/h/d G-box wont work on a R/H drive car!:giveup:

I have strange dreams like that as well, must be all the redbull !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Meat-Head]

I have strange dreams like that as well, must be all the redbull !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Nope not redex, must be something else, can't remember now (would have told you all, but forgot) had a well weird dream other night, woke me up.

[teuton]

Well, me too got four reverse gears. happened on a beetle, where the differential was integrated in gearbox. I justinstalled it side reverse. Lot of fun, but you had to practise.


I remember changing the "box" on an old beetle everything went well fitted exchange box from scrappy no bits left over etc. Taking it for test drive and had 4 reverse gears and 1 forward, Now thats why a L/h/d G-box wont work on a R/H drive car!:giveup:


So another one, welcome in the club

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Many many years ago when I had even less sense than I have now. I agreed to swap an engine on a 2 stroke Commer coach.

Working under an open railway arch on cinders. Coach jacked up, big pole through open top sliding windows.
Block and tackle to lower engine onto tin sheet, drag it out with a rope on a wagon.

go to Peterborough to buy s/h engine, bring it back, work all night to fit the thing. [it was out of a tipper so lots of shite to swap over.

To the people reading this who may not be familiar with the wierd and wonderful 2 stroke diesel engine...similar to a porsche layout, horizontally opposed cylinders working through wierd rocker things, Meathead probably understands more than I do [and did]. it also sported a supercharger.

As the November dawn broke, nearly all the bits where back on and me being a lot younger with lots of enthusiasm, couldnt wait to try it out, bled it etc, connected the charged batteries, check the oil,etc. all ok.

the bloke who owned the coach firm was pleased with my efforts of the previous day, and left me a fiver and a thank you note the night before, which I never bothered to read.

Anyway, bugger the note lets get it going, I thought.
It started straight away, much to my astonishment.

It sounded sweet,revved well,very well...... in fact VERY ****in well.
Actually it never stopped revving until it blew itself to a hundred thousand pieces.
You could hear the bang and see the smoke for miles.

After I come out from behind the wc where I ran to hide.I went to phone the boss and tell him about the "mishap".


only to cast my eyes on the note he left me, on it in big red letters was the warning "DONT FORGET TO CONNECT THE VENTURI PIPE BEFORE YOU START IT"

yep, that must have been the crinkly looking pipe that I was puzzling out where it fitted, then forgot!


The moral of the story is to always read the note.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

On another occasion, trying to start a Thames Trader in the winter using the approved cold starting method of a lighted diesel rag on a stick in the inlet manifold .

For some unknown reason the beauty decided to run BACKWARDS, yes backwards!

A sight for sore eyes [literally] as the cab fills up with black exhaust smoke!

So off with overalls, keks, socks and anything else you can stuff up the exhaust to stop the bleedin thing.

Jesus........wot a shock:argh:

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Way back in 1973 I decided I needed more adventure.

I was working for a French Transport Company who decided to start running to the Middle East.

Being a bit mad I thought i would give it a go.

Obviously you have your ups and downs in a job like that, but on one trip I do remember having more than my fair share of trouble. The drive shaft to the injector pump[ on a Scania 111 had a "flexible" coupling made from metal discs.

On this trip the coupling decided to rip half way across Bulgaria, causing the inevitable STOP.

Out with the nail scissors cutting replacement "shim" couplings from an oil drum, doubling them up, bolting them back together, check timing etc........50 miles......bang....nail scissors......50miles....bang......I assume you get the picture now!
Managing to scrape to Ankara,park up. and walk around for a machine shop to make a better replacement.

Problem was, the French Transport Company wasnt the best, it was run by a crook who never gave you enough money.....The cost of even a Turkish made replacement coupling was not within the budget.So....................
it was, thanks for the coupling..............RUN!
thankfully I outrun the very angry Turkish toolmaker, who would have cut my knackers off had he caught me.

I have felt very guilty about this for nearly 40 yrs, so if any member on here is from Ankara and his Dad got fleeced after doing a good turn for a foreigner...I am sorry!

But tell him the coupling lasted all the way back to Yugoslavia where Viator fitted a replacement in Ljubljana!

forgot to add that from Ankara, it was on to Shiraz in Iran, THEN back to Ljubljana for repair!



I suppose the moral of that story is always to have enough money with you or good running shoes on

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Pullin out of an "AGIP" filling station in Italy in the middle of the night, on a full left lock to avoid the pumps on my right only to realise I had flattened 2 diesel pumps, 2 petrol pumps, an airline and water tap and lampost on the left side..........................................


how stupid was that?


well it was a right hooker!

[smirnoff_rules]

remember years back we did a head gasket on a nova 1000 ohc , as usual the hydro tappets didnt want to fill up so we decided to give it a push start , theres me with the door open and pushing away with to mechanics pushing at the back .. it got faster and faster and for the life of me could l just in... NO lol .. not a chance , just had to stand back a laugh as it hit the gates .., 3 foot the other way it would of been the main road

[Meat-Head]

I have felt very guilty about this for nearly 40 yrs, so if any member on here is from Ankara and his Dad got fleeced after doing a good turn for a foreigner...I am sorry!



If it was possable to erase that guilt out of your head i would.

Nowerdays we are flooded with forgeniers, they ALWAYS NEVER want to pay anything.

Plugged computer in, needs a part mate "you no fixed the light i no pay"

Like the other day i was just downloading a washingmachine out the back of my van - was given it - was going to either fix it or do something emorrel with the motor and a can of areseol paint.

Forgeiner walks up "eeeessss that working i neeeeed a washer".
Then said the standard "I havvvve noooo moooney"

No my mate has given me it to mend and sell - is it worth ?10 to you?

I beleive it needs a belt

Anyway as if by magic i whipped a belt out my pocket, in the street whipps the back off, thinks "This isn't the belt - more like bearing locked up" - kept queit - anyway this forgener decides he's having it, so humps it to his house - 3 doors up - still waiting for my ?10!

Would rather have had the machine for the motor amd speed controller.

[big-ted]

biggest f-up becoming a mechanic, there must be easier jobs, Air traffic controller or brain surgeon, at least as a surgeon all the same parts are in the same place, not a game of guess where the fusebox is today with customer looking like "does he know what he's doing can't even find the correct fuse box, let alone the fuse"

If you know what I mean.

~~~ up is the punto head gasket that fits both ways, but one way it stops the oil going to the cam..... got 3 miles in road test before stoping and the tappets were not getting any quieter.

Ted

[bosanci28]

about 17 years ago,i had the head rebuild due to overheating and bent valves (cost 700$ to a machine shop),and installed it back,forgot to tight the water hose from behind the head ,when to work ,half way there ,overheated again bent few valves again,500$ out of my packet again,lesson learned.

[bmwparts]

Some years back while I was buying and selling cars I owned a Rolls Royce Silver Spirit 81 Model which had idling problems (too high). Took it to my local mechanic who had it on a four poster lift. Him being somewhat portly was sitting behind the steering with car idling (fast) as he got out the car he slid his hand over the steering wheel catching the gear selector (which looks almost like an indicator stalk) and slapping it into reverse. The car immediately started reversing missing the mechanic by inches who had decided not to save the situation but rather get out of the way. Fortunately or unfortunately the open door caught on the rear post of the hoist bring the car to a dead stop and creasing the door and bending the somewhat oversized cast iron door hinge bracket. And they say the British can't build cars.

[m3vuv]

i once took a plastic pig over the pit when i was 14 to do a clutch!

[gmb45]

i once took a plastic pig over the pit when i was 14 to do a clutch!

:eek: no way thats quality :roflmao:

[ghostridersa]

I have seen that happen many times.


biggest f-up becoming a mechanic, there must be easier jobs, Air traffic controller or brain surgeon, at least as a surgeon all the same parts are in the same place, not a game of guess where the fusebox is today with customer looking like "does he know what he's doing can't even find the correct fuse box, let alone the fuse"

If you know what I mean.

~~~ up is the punto head gasket that fits both ways, but one way it stops the oil going to the cam..... got 3 miles in road test before stoping and the tappets were not getting any quieter.

Ted

[ghostridersa]

Same has happend to me.


7 series BMW, a simple wiper blade replacement, pull wiper arm up off screen, remove old wiper blade, go and get new wiper blade and come back to find wiper arm had retracted by itself, yup, through the front windscreen, never saw that customer again

[SEB4LO]

MAgny cours F1 track

Maxi tuned engine 350 YPVS ( banshee like but 480 cc , high porting and high compression , full Avgas racing fuel ... ) 100+ Hp

1st run no free practice = qualification directly ....
1 lap to discover the track , second lap , very stange , i overtook ALL racers in the straight ( classic class pre 1980 )

Then 300 meters panel ( old brakes and 250 km/h ) , i start to brake gently at at that moment = SOLID LOCK of the rear wheel

I made a crap stupid thing and one of the head studs was not lined to the deck of the barrel so was protruding => head o ring was not tight enough , all the water went into the barrel/pipe and the engine sized quite hard

Anyway the engine would have NEVER survived , i made a mistake and the squish was 0.45 mm .... with 73 mm pistons at 11 000 rpm on an F1 track .... I guess , just 1 or two lap at full throttle :D

i thought i was dead :(

[ghostridersa]

My biggest one was stealing a car without even knowing it. In 1993 I get a call from a customer telling me her car, a white golf mk1 is in the parking lot of the shopping mall across the road from my shop. (problem she says is car just wont start, no more details). She has left the keys with the shopping mall security guard and taken a bus to work.

I send my guys over to collect the keys from the security and tell them it is a white golf MK1 and to check what is wrong with it. The two of them come back telling me the ignition lock is not working and thus the car wont start. I send them back over to the mall to take the ignition and steering off and hot wire it to drive back to the shop.

30 minutes later they are back with the golf. I phone the customer and tell her the key does not turn in the ignition any more and she needs a new ignition lock. Tell her we might as well fit a new door lock as my guys said they had a hard time to unlock it when they collected her car. Quote her and she says go ahead and do it. She asks how much for a major service and new front brakes as her father told her it is due. I quote her and she says no problem go ahead. She we go ahead, full service, new brakes and discs, new ignition lock and door lock.

5pm she arrives to collect her car, payment in hand. I take her over to her car to show her what we did. We get to the car and she looks at me and says, "well where is my car?" Here it is pointing at her white golf mk1. No no no no that is a white golf just like mine but it is not mine. What you mean it is not yours? Well mine has a dent in the back door and this one doesnt. Then it dawned on me, my guys had forced the door lock key on another white golf mk1 and the key didnt turn the ignition because it was the wrong car. We had stolen a perfectly good golf mk1.

Customer looks out the office window to the mall parking lot and points out her white golf mk1. We rush across to it with her old keys, open the car crank it over and it has a flat battery due to lights been left on.

I jump in the "stolen" car rush down to the police station to explain the whole story. Tell the cop my story and he is almost pissing in his pants laughing at me and tells me the owner reported it stolen that morning. Phone the owner up, he comes down to the cop shop and hears the story and almost pisses himself with laughter as well. All is good, he withdraws the theft charge and gets a free service, brakes and locks.

Moral of the story always get a registration number.

[perovuk]

on a4 2003, found under driver seat little red button, and when pushed, 4 airbag detonated, never again Taching any button ....

[Meat-Head]

on a4 2003, found under driver seat little red button, and when pushed, 4 airbag detonated, never again Taching any button ....

That must have been fitted afterwards, four airbags, bet you had to go home for change of clothes AND skin.

[Larue]

on a4 2003, found under driver seat little red button, and when pushed, 4 airbag detonated, never again Taching any button ....
Long time ago we had VW Golf mark2 in workshop. We did service on it checked all lights etc. and couldn't start car anymore. Found no spark. after some messing around found that there is extra rear screen heater button fitted (genuine) on dashboard and by pushing that button car becomes immobilized.
Took me an hour to find that out
Another button pushing lesson lol

[m3vuv]

About 20yrs ago i had a mate visiting me in north wales from northampton, about 130miles away,he was on a honda ft500 single 4 valve four stroke,anyhow this bike didnt have a kick start just electric that was knackerd,trying to bump start it was a pig,just before he left to go home on the sunday night ready for work monday morning i said look if you put it in gear and pull it back over compresion so you have an exahaust stroke to go before it hits compresion at least the motor gets some momentum before compression,normaly when you dumped the clutch it would just lock the rear wheel even in top gear!,anyhow thats what we did,we got it up to speed droped the clutch and clatter clatter clatter!,shit no compression!,the sodding camchain was shot and had jumped the cam sprocket,we got 4 bent valves,its sunday night and he had to get home for work in the morning,we got no chance of getting parts so head strip pull the valves,put em in the lath chuck and **** em strait with a hammer,recut the seats and lapped em in the head!,anyhow the thing got him home and was still going 6 months later until her sold it,that was a long sunday night! lol.

[Meat-Head]

*DONE IT AGAIN*

So i was cycling home for lunch today, industrail estate, one way in, one way out. At the end is a rail road crossing.

Now just as could see the crossing a van goes past, see's the tags
Bearing in mind, never seen them 100% fully before, but things, that's *HOT* Bird from the parts place.

Then the railroad crossing comes down, Justy22 takes him time, i cycles up, see's her STUNNING face in the mirror.

She is unable to go anywhere, i could have easily spun cycle round and said to her, "Heres ?10 go buy some flowers yourself"

But didn't have the guts to do that.

Didn't think could have hung behind and took a photo with cell phone, didn't do that either.

Railroad crossing go up, i pedals large, but notices her left hand traffictor is up, so that means, got a chance of dashing through a parking lot, and getting a glimse of her.

Did that, waved to her, NO REACTION.

Makes you wounder why i bother!

Found these though



Yahoo! Answers - Was it rude that she didn't thank me for the gift? (http://malaysia.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121213031741AAPzGjY)

Lindsay Lohan Owes Charlie Sheen a Thank You - DivineCaroline (http://www.divinecaroline.com/112939/134311-lindsay-lohan-owes-charlie-sheen)

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

*DONE IT AGAIN*

So i was cycling home for lunch today, industrail estate, one way in, one way out. At the end is a rail road crossing.

Now just as could see the crossing a van goes past, see's the tags
Bearing in mind, never seen them 100% fully before, but things, that's *HOT* Bird from the parts place.

Then the railroad crossing comes down, Justy22 takes him time, i cycles up, see's her STUNNING face in the mirror.

She is unable to go anywhere, i could have easily spun cycle round and said to her, "Heres ?10 go buy some flowers yourself"

But didn't have the guts to do that.

Didn't think could have hung behind and took a photo with cell phone, didn't do that either.

Railroad crossing go up, i pedals large, but notices her left hand traffictor is up, so that means, got a chance of dashing through a parking lot, and getting a glimse of her.

Did that, waved to her, NO REACTION.

Makes you wounder why i bother!

Found these though



Yahoo! Answers - Was it rude that she didn't thank me for the gift? (http://malaysia.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121213031741AAPzGjY)

Lindsay Lohan Owes Charlie Sheen a Thank You - DivineCaroline (http://www.divinecaroline.com/112939/134311-lindsay-lohan-owes-charlie-sheen)



where you wearing cycle clips?

[Meat-Head]

*DONE IT AGAIN*

So i was cycling home for lunch today, industrail estate, one way in, one way out. At the end is a rail road crossing.

Now just as could see the crossing a van goes past, see's the tags
Bearing in mind, never seen them 100% fully before, but things, that's *HOT* Bird from the parts place.

Then the railroad crossing comes down, Justy22 takes him time, i cycles up, see's her STUNNING face in the mirror.

She is unable to go anywhere, i could have easily spun cycle round and said to her, "Heres ?10 go buy some flowers yourself"

But didn't have the guts to do that.

Didn't think could have hung behind and took a photo with cell phone, didn't do that either.

Railroad crossing go up, i pedals large, but notices her left hand traffictor is up, so that means, got a chance of dashing through a parking lot, and getting a glimse of her.

Did that, waved to her, NO REACTION.

Makes you wounder why i bother!

Found these though



Yahoo! Answers - Was it rude that she didn***039;t thank me for the gift? (http://malaysia.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121213031741AAPzGjY)

Lindsay Lohan Owes Charlie Sheen a Thank You - DivineCaroline (http://www.divinecaroline.com/112939/134311-lindsay-lohan-owes-charlie-sheen)




where you wearing cycle clips?

Why do people quote long posts and put one line at the bottom?

Ah yes maybee that was the problem

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Why do people quote long posts and put one line at the bottom?

Ah yes maybee that was the problem



















thought so........

[Meat-Head]

thought so........


that is fine just when people quote long posts!

If you can find the thread manfactours f** ups- by member Rideon -you can add your bus post to it.

guess that is why there is an old wifes tale about, you can't stop a diesel engine then!

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I have stopped a few with a brick wall.

[m3vuv]

not realy trade related but shows the stupid things we sometimes do!,about 20yrs ago i used to live in northern brittany,one friday night after a few beers early doors three of us decided to take my mates sailing boat over to jersey for a piss up,a distance of about 50 miles,the way we normaly navigated was to head towards a lighthouse about 20miles out to sea,as you approach that you can see the lights from jersey so plain sailing so as to speak!,after about 3hrs at sea a storm blew up,one of my friends on the boat then informs us he had been listening to the shiping forcast on radio 4 and force 8 storms had been forcast for finistaire! ****ing great,by this time its dark with waves at about 25ft tall,we had no choice but to lower the sails and try and ride it out.at this point the boat was uncontrlable and to make matters worse the compass bulb blew,no probs we had a spare,we tried to swap it using a screw driver and a fag lighter to see by,this is in heavy seas in total darkness,we managed to lose most of the glycerine out of the compass so topped it up with sea water,like ****s we didnt realise it would make an emulshion!,****ing great,were now in realy bad seas in the dark with no compass distress flares or radio!,by daylight the sea was calmer and using the sun we just headed east and after a day saw jersey,i can say hand on heart that i have never been so terrified in my whole life,i honestly thought we were going to die!.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

not realy trade related but shows the stupid things we sometimes do!,about 20yrs ago i used to live in northern brittany,one friday night after a few beers early doors three of us decided to take my mates sailing boat over to jersey for a piss up,a distance of about 50 miles,the way we normaly navigated was to head towards a lighthouse about 20miles out to sea,as you approach that you can see the lights from jersey so plain sailing so as to speak!,after about 3hrs at sea a storm blew up,one of my friends on the boat then informs us he had been listening to the shiping forcast on radio 4 and force 8 storms had been forcast for finistaire! ****ing great,by this time its dark with waves at about 25ft tall,we had no choice but to lower the sails and try and ride it out.at this point the boat was uncontrlable and to make matters worse the compass bulb blew,no probs we had a spare,we tried to swap it using a screw driver and a fag lighter to see by,this is in heavy seas in total darkness,we managed to lose most of the glycerine out of the compass so topped it up with sea water,like ****s we didnt realise it would make an emulshion!,****ing great,were now in realy bad seas in the dark with no compass distress flares or radio!,by daylight the sea was calmer and using the sun we just headed east and after a day saw jersey,i can say hand on heart that i have never been so terrified in my whole life,i honestly thought we were going to die!.

now that WAS an adventure!
[it puts dashboard f***ups into a different perspective!]

On a ro-ro freight ferry that was all unacompanied trailers except for about 12 accompanied trucks, en route from Zeebrugge to Hull. [these where licensed for only 12 passengers]
The passenger accommodation was up on bridge level overlooking the stern, trailers on deck as well as below. I woke up on the floor at 3 am,having been tipped out of the top bunk by the heavy pitching.

Looked out of the window to see the stern going under the waves every 30 seconds.God knows what the front bit was doing.

I have never seen a rough sea like it, ever. I suppose only those who have been in the Navy would know.
I shit myself.
All I could feel was a lot of banging and crashing from below decks.
I have never experienced anything like it, before or after.
When it docked in Hull, it took THREE DAYS to get my pride and joy wagon and trailer out of the ship! What a f***ing sight.
Lots of trailers had broken loose and had spent the night charging about squashing everything together.

Bad enough in a small ship,but mv3uv, in a sailing boat I couldnt imagine!

[Meat-Head]

When it docked in Hull, it took THREE DAYS to get my pride and joy wagon and trailer out of the ship! What a f***ing sight.



For the benefit of Justy22 here - Say the distancse by sea was 500 miles, did you wind that 500 miles BACK onto the speedo to make it correct, or did you leave it as it was? Or did you wind ON 500 miles?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

tachograaph in kms!

[Meat-Head]

tachograaph in kms!


OFF TOPIC:-

What ever, did you have to IN-correct it after getting off the ferry?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

If you saw the state of the wagon, you couldnt even find the f****ng tacho! It had a 20ft iso container on a skelly sitting on the dashboard!
[back in the dark days, a bit of sponge or a paper clip could sort out any tachograph ! ask any driver who was on the continent in the 70`s and 80`s]

[Larue]

Ok. One more OFF topic story about " I know shorter way!"
That was in middle of 90'ties in beginning of January. Me,my father and good friend of mine were going from Georgia thru Turkey on old Toyota Camry. I was driving that car all the way thru.
So we started our trip from Batumi late evening, were going by Black sea coast way in Turkey and then my father said:" Why we should need to go coast road with all those twists,turns and traffic? I know shorter way!" . After that we turned off coast road and went up in mountains. It was raining badly on the coast and as we were going up in hills rain slowly turned in to wet snow and later in to snow and ice. Road was pretty steep and at some point when i found some piece of flat road (at least i thought so)we stopped for wee and i did discover how wrong i was. That road was still very steep. After several attempts to move away finally we were on the road again. It was still snowing badly and road became narrower and narrower. Finally i couldn't see road at all and car started picking up snow from the road and it was going over bonnet. As it was dark the only thing what i could see was rock on the left and that was enough to find the road. As there were nowhere to turn around or stop we were going forward.To make matters worse i spotted lights several hundreds meters down on the right side....so there was nothing what could stop us from falling off road.
Don't know for how long we were driving like that....second gear,full throttle,car with 2.0 liter 16valve engine was really struggling....but suddenly it's all cleared and we finally saw were we are. That was top of mountain! When i took a look back from were we were coming then i get that one wrong turn,lack of power,even one oncoming car or bad luck could bring us far far down from road.
Found driver's seat really wet from my back.lol
Even my father who can talk for hours without stopping was sitting quite all the way thru snow.
Road cleared,sun was rising,we were alive and still on the road....all good funlol
I have been driving in snow and ice for most of my life but never have seen anything so bad as that road.

[Meat-Head]

[back in the dark days, a bit of sponge or a paper clip could sort out any tachograph ! ask any driver who was on the continent in the 70`s and 80`s]


Now this is TOP SECRET INFORMATION, DO NOT SHARE.

Rumor going around, this CAN be verified, that Tina Turner, her tour bus in the 80's got from Spain to Frogance or somewhere in record time.

Altough not 100% sure - due to STRICT rules DK against advertising.

All thanks to the "Mint with the Hole"

Tachograph was verified somewhere in Ingland - between London and Scotland.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Ok. One more OFF topic story about " I know shorter way!"
That was in middle of 90'ties in beginning of January. Me,my father and good friend of mine were going from Georgia thru Turkey

I liked your story.

You are correct about the snow in Eastern Turkey. I spent a couple of years in the early 70`s driving from Northern Europe to Iran. In the winter it was not very funny. I too decided on a detour once in the winter, going North from Sivas, Turkey in an attempt to save time. [lets just say that it was a bad idea and leave it at that].
I also once stopped for a wee, but as I was "warming the tyres"noticed the whole f***ing truck was sliding backwards downhill, wheels locked. some very quick actions needed to recover the situation.
I must say though, it taught me to drive in snow.lol

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Now this is TOP SECRET INFORMATION, DO NOT SHARE.

Rumor going around, this CAN be verified, that Tina Turner, her tour bus in the 80's got from Spain to Frogance or somewhere in record time.

Altough not 100% sure - due to STRICT rules DK against advertising.

All thanks to the "Mint with the Hole"

Tachograph was verified somewhere in Ingland - between London and Scotland.


Heading North, I stopped on the services one night somewhere near Orange on the A7 in Southern France.
It was in about 1973 ish.
Parked near the fuel pumps was a Rolls Royce convertible with the hood down, occupied by 2 young guys and 2 girls. The driver approached me and asked if I could help.
He said the young ladies who where with them had been playing with the power top and managed to flatten the batteries, no lights, no nothing.

They where desperate to find a hotel for the night and didnt know what to do. I told them that the nearest motel that I knew was on the services about 150kms North. I offered to give the 4 of them a lift but they didnt want to abandon the car with the top down etc.
He explained that they where returning from the Cannes Music Festival.
I suggested that I could tow them if they where daft enough and didnt mind the consequences to the car.

They all thought it was a great idea, so I proceeded to tow a Convertible Rolls Royce, with the top down, at 60mph up the A7 Autoroute in the middle of the night, no lights.....for about a hundred miles! on the end of 12ft of chain behind a 40ft trailer.
I didnt stop once and could only see them if I put my indicator on and wiggled a bit!

I can only assume that they where more scared than I was.

We got to the main services without problem, they found rooms, we all had a meal together and I was on my way.
I often wonder who they where & if they where famous in the music world, and what the dealer said when he opened up the gearbox!

ps
I had peviously towed an English Transit minibus full of Pakistanis for about 50 miles in Turkey when they had broken down.

Anyone from Pakistan on this forum who lives in UK will know that in the 70`s, to visit relations back in Pakistan, the normal way was overland in a Transit! [ask your grandad]

[Meat-Head]

whole f***ing truck was sliding backwards downhill, wheels locked. some very quick actions needed to recover the situation.
.lol


WICKED, apert from piss running down your leg, explain more, that sounds cool.


1973 ish.

flatten the batteries, no lights, no nothing.

consequences to the car.

tow a Convertible Rolls Royce, with the top down, at 60mph up the A7 Autoroute in the middle of the night, no lights.....for about a hundred miles!

what the dealer said when he opened up the gearbox!


WOW electric hood in 1973 - cool, was it hydralic or motors?

No relation to Justy22 - would have had jump leads with them.

If they can afford that, they can afford a new autobox.

You could have as an 'one off' took there flat battery off, held on the body of your truck the negative, then used your chain as an 'uninsulated' cable to put a small amount of juice in their battery.

Then watch the DYNAMO - WHAEYY - glow as it struggled to recover.


60 MPH, 100 Miles :roflmao::roflmao:


We had in at M-H-M a 2003 Range-Rover non start, decided we didn't like the costomer, decided we won't get paid, they towed it (came on a trailer to us) HALF A MILE and DESTROYED the diff :roflmao:

My Mini Auto, made sure oil was on max and told AA man MAXIMUM of 20 MPH - was on way to work 3 miles away - just died.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

If you can imagine, dying for a pee. stop on hill, not a very steep hill.

In winter in Northern Turkey and Iran, you can drive only during the hours the sun shines [or tries to]. After that its too icy and you will kill yourself.

Late afternoon, stop for pee,handbrake on.....now I will explain about what happens, handbrake actuates all air brake packs, then after a little time, the trailer brakes release, relying only on the tractor unit brakes.

So,whilst relieving myself, the trailer brakes come off, the tractor unit decides it cant grip on this slippy slope and protests in the only way it can by s-l-o-w-l-y sliding back downhill.

It isnt that hard to jump back in, handbrake off and into gear and hopefully get a bit of traction to stop the slide and get going again, it just sounds hard!

Going DOWN hill was much harder!

Try googling Mount Tahir near the Turkey /Iran border.

gives me the shits thinking about it 40 years later.

[Meat-Head]

Late afternoon, stop for pee,handbrake on.....now I will explain about what happens, handbrake actuates all air brake packs, then after a little time, the trailer brakes release, relying only on the tractor unit brakes.

So,whilst relieving myself, the trailer brakes come off,.


*CONFUSED*

Would it not have made that acutuator HISSSSSSSS noise?

Thought you put air IN to release the parking brakes?

Then made acutator noises whilst driving.

QUESTION:-?

When you was in your BIG lorry, in traffic in forgein towns and citys, did you ever start making airbrake noises :roflmao::roflmao: Intmitdading the yocals?

Air Brakes - AmTran RE - YouTube

Air Brakes 2 - YouTube

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

1. ask your friendly hgv mechanic how air brakes work.
2. More interested in keeping warm ,staying alive, getting the job done, than worrying about the locals!

[stonedagain]

1. ask your friendly hgv mechanic how air brakes work.
I'm a friendly ex-hgv mechanic, Meat-Head is correct. HGV parking brake is held OFF by air pressure. When you apply the parking brake the air is released from the brake actuator & a large spring within the actuator applies the brake. When you release the parking brake the air pressure compresses the spring, releasing the brake. Only the footbrake is applied by air pressure.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I'm a friendly ex-hgv mechanic, Meat-Head is correct. HGV parking brake is held OFF by air pressure. When you apply the parking brake the air is released from the brake actuator & a large spring within the actuator applies the brake. When you release the parking brake the air pressure compresses the spring, releasing the brake. Only the footbrake is applied by air pressure.


Then please explain to Meathead what happens when the trailer brakes are released after the tractor unit parking brake is applied, leaving the parking brake working only on the tractor unit. [This was a contributing factor in allowing the rig to slide on the icy slope].


When dropping a trailer and disconnecting the air lines from the tractor, the trailer brakes would then be on.
Draining the air from the trailer would release the brakes.


Please see another story to follow

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Another less exciting story about trailer brakes.

A contract involved dropping loaded trailers at the port to be shipped unaccompanied.

You arrived at a factory, dropped your empty trailer in the trailer park,drove down to loading bay to collect the loaded trailer, drop it in the trailer park, hook up to the empty one, back to the loading bay and back it on and drop it.

Back up to the trailer park, pick up the loaded trailer again and go to the Port to drop it for shipment.

Having done this same job quite a few times you get a bit cocky and speedy! I thought of a way to save loads of time............

Instead of dropping the empty trailer in the trailer park, I decided I could drop it at the top of the slope just a few hundred meters from the loading bay. Then reverse down the slope , past the portakabin and under the trailer,hook it up and park it at the top of the slope next to the empty, then a quick swap and back the empty down onto the bay.

High speed flash harry goes to work.......

Now all good Stobart or Army types of driver know the correct procedure for dropping a trailer....

It is NOT to wind the legs down, pull the pin ,and then disconnect the air lines..............
As this method allows the trailer to v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y slide off the fifth wheel coupling [and as the landing legs had cute little steel wheels on them] and start to proceed backwards down the slope towards the portakabin.........before you had chance to disconnect the bloody airlines..

It is amazing how long the curly wurly airlines will stretch before the inevitable break! This of course actuates the trailer brakes and brings the whole thing to a stop.[albiet, tantillisingly close to the portakabin]

Now I know that, and friendly hgv mechanics know that, but the girl in the portakabin, looking out of the window at the 40ft tilt coming down the slope didnt know that.

[and I must admit, at that precise moment of watching the spectacle, I didnt think the bleedin thing was going to stop either!]

Needless to say, from that day forth, I took great delight in telling all and sundry to disconnect the airlines, apply the trailer ratchet brake dah de dah de dah. etc. whenever dropping trailers.

ps

dont ask about transferring diesel by applying the red line to the tank through the top, to gently pressurise the tank enabling decanting of the required amounts of stuff.

[justy22]

It works on a fail safe system, imagine a diaphragm with air pushing both sides say 70 psi to apply brake air gets released from 1 side and other side reacts, if the pipes spilits open then full brake pressure applies until the air leaks off the brake cylinder, similar to brakes on a train

Aww fck imagine meaty trying to work on air brakes we all really would be fckd


*CONFUSED*

Would it not have made that acutuator HISSSSSSSS noise?

Thought you put air IN to release the parking brakes?

Then made acutator noises whilst driving.

QUESTION:-?

When you was in your BIG lorry, in traffic in forgein towns and citys, did you ever start making airbrake noises :roflmao::roflmao: Intmitdading the yocals?

Air Brakes - AmTran RE - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMtWCQtanFY)

Air Brakes 2 - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbzlqYQwIWU)

[Meat-Head]

Aww fck imagine meaty trying to work on air brakes we all really would be fckd


I;'ll be undoung - or is it doing it - the BIG bolt on yours.

OK, as we seem to have gone WAY off topic:- as your into brakes
and trains - how do you tow a modern carrages behins steam carrrages/ vise versa.

Rumor has it steam carrages put the brakes on with pressure?

[RobinGill]

Needed to get a cheap runabout for my mum while I was fixing her Merc when she it wrote off about 8 years ago.

Mate had an escort with dodgy immo. Rather than change ecu and chip, he thought it would be a good idea to drop in a x-flow engine with carb which I did with a couple of mates and they told me to wire the electric fuel pump to the ignition switch.

Being a total noob, I didn't realise this would make fuel piss out of the carb. Sussed it in the end and was trying to figure out which pipe was which on the mechanical fuel pump. Got it wrong and saw fuel spraying all over the show so I went back and connected it right.

After loads of hard work, the car was all sorted so I turned it off and it backfired. Remember I mentioned the fuel that had previously been pouring out of the carb and had just been spraying out of the mechanical fuel pump - here's the results:

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m73/alfapics/DSC00329.jpg


http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m73/alfapics/DSC00330.jpg
http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m73/alfapics/PICT0005a.jpg

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m73/alfapics/PICT0002-4.jpg

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m73/alfapics/PICT0001a.jpg

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m73/alfapics/PICT0004-4.jpg

Couldn't even try returning the carb to the scrappy as it had molten away!

[borysgo2]

I was cleaning my hard drive and found some pics from work, so there are some post cards from Ireland :p

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00249_zpse4e0078b.jpg

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00214_zpsdbbbb188.jpg

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00110_zps7ddd00f2.jpg

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00156_zps5a6ba4b3.jpg

[borysgo2]

And few more
Heat shield
http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/Zdj1190cie084_zps19057721.jpg
On job card - Please check the car pulling to side :P
http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00710_zps5fa7f403.jpg
Boss refused to het new water hose - becouse is wasting money
http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00645_zps4ae225ff.jpg

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00457_zpsd4c9de4b.jpg
That car belongs to fela with heatshield mask :P
http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00351_zps9ad58795.jpg

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/DSC00296_zps306586e2.jpg

[borysgo2]

If the genuine lock is too expensive - solution from green island

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q682/borysgo2/Zdj1190cie094_filtered_zpsb398f884.jpg

[Meat-Head]

what was the heat sheld fot what car

[borysgo2]

Heat siheld was for fiesta or focus petrol

[Meat-Head]

OK so nobody screws up, take note:-

Order car parts AFTER 10:30am when thr first van has gone out, that way
there is a HIGHER chance of the *HOT*bird from the parts place coming.

ON TOPIC:-

Sort of a f**k up - have now sussed it, order the parts from the parts place for PM delivery, *HOT*bird came in the other day
BUT the 'problem' is her company only supply parts at the higher price as the other suppliers, my boss rumbled this, so need to get them to supply
a lower cost!

ON TOPIC:-

Made a booboo the other day, see in this car that was robbing bits off in the multistory parking lot, see in the trunk it had a box of 'Wonker Bars'

Having seen HUNDRADS of boy racer cars with standard 'Wonker Bars' in the trunk didn't even look.

Told the young boy there a box in the trunk, my bad, should have looked, was a box of 'Gold Wonker Bars'

Would have had it if seen it, he's well chiffed with it, could have added it to the TWO 'Gold Wonker Bars' i skanked a couple of yeras ago!

[quinnd]

How's this one! You know the Honda Accord etc with the ABS accumulators cylindrical type? You know the ones that are common for loosing their gas pressure?.... pump over run etc.
Well, I wanted to know what the hell goes wrong with these things so I hacked it open with a saw. Straight down the middle of the internal piston seals. As I approached the last bit of aluminium it exploded out of the vice, smashed a door open, dented the fridge, other end missed co-worker by 6 inches and put a whopping dent in a Snap-on toolbox!

[quinnd]

Audi TT RS had a funny surge problem. Figured it was fuel pump related, removed the pump tested it on the bench in white spirits, just as I found the problem with it a hose flicked up and covered me in the fuel. Work mate flicked the switch on battery pack from 12-0-24 by mistake, wires came up out of fluid, sparked and I caught on fire. 3 weeks in hospital, I returned a month laterr, fitted new pump and sent car off fixed

[Meat-Head]

3 weeks in hospital, I returned a month laterr, fitted new pump and sent car off fixed

misrable sods could have at least fixed it whilst you was off-line

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Thinking about the truck my Dad bought.

A brand new Thames Trader swb tipper to replace his 1953 s type Bedford petrol tipper!

It was about 4 weeks old, newly painted and signwritten.

I went with him one day. [must have been 11 or 12 yrs old]
He was backing up on a building site and me being a helpful little chap decided it would be best if I opened the door to look behind as well.

Well my Dad, was obviously engrossed in what was going on at the drivers side because he never noticed the passenger door catch on the scaffolding, or even heard it crunch as it went all the way around on its hinges......well not until he turned around that was, then he spotted the door was hanging on by only one hinge.

He was not very happy.

Every time I have had contact with a HGV since that day, its ended in disaster.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

What happened to vinyl roof`s?

They where a marvelous invention.

Just think of all the wrappers with dented roofs, full of filler, miracle fix....................a......bleedin`............ vinyl..........roof.

luvly jubbly.

Did an Austin Westminster once, really badly damaged, not only did that end up with a vinyl roof, but also managed to pull a phone box onto its side, using it as an anchor while I was pulling the Westminster straight with a block and tackle hooked onto a lampost. [you would expect phone boxes to have some sort of foundations.]

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Struggling to get home to Liverpool after a night out in Birkenhead.
just about to enter the Mersey Tunnel,
In a mini pickup.

Bloody SU petrol pump decided to stop.

Took off the plastic hand pumped windscreen washer bottle, somehow got petrol out of tank and filled the 1 pint container.
Connected manual washer pump from container to carb.

pump pump, float chamber full, start car, away we go, pump pump, got me home 6 miles before anything melted inside the pump!

[Meat-Head]

Did an Austin Westminster once, really badly damaged, not only did that end up with a vinyl roof, but also managed to pull a phone box onto its side, using it as an anchor while I was pulling the Westminster straight with a block and tackle hooked onto a lampost. ]


can you desribe the scene a bit more please, did the cast iron shatter, what did you do?

3/4 of ton is a phonebox, you can either 'dig a hole' and bury it up to the bottom of the door, or just leave it 'on land' and fill the base in with concrete

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

No, it had a large strap off a mobile crane wrapped around it
The lampost never moved an inch.
The car straightened out a bit, then stopped, kept on pulling the chain, then whoop!, the phone box just gently went from 90 degrees to 25 degrees.

Disconnected everything from strap, moved strap the other way, hooked up my Zephyr mk3 PICKUP [homemade] to it, pulled it straight up again, bit wobbly, phone never worked, my mates Mum rang the GPO to report it and it was working again a few days later.

Wonder what happened to the Westminster after it was sold?

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

gets worse these stories

First ever foreigner I ever did with another apprentice.
Respray a two tone Austin A50.white with a blue flash down the side.

He convinced me that it would be much quicker if, instead of wasting all that time and money on masking tape and paper. We simply covered all the parts not to be painted...in grease!...yes thats right, grease!

you could not possibly believe what a fu**ing mess that turned into.

It must have took 3 months to sort it out.

Its a wonder the customer never had us shot.


That was about the same time as we where practicing handbrake turns in the snow at a busy road junction.[well you do these things when youre 18 dont you?]

As for the bloke in the Anglia, well the stupid tw**t should have seen us and swerved, surely?

We "repaired" it for him, convincing him that we where experts in this field and he was very lucky to have hit us and not someone else!.....Jesus, I cant believe this now Ive read it!

[dik]

gets worse these stories

First ever foreigner I ever did with another apprentice.
Respray a two tone Austin A50.white with a blue flash down the side.

He convinced me that it would be much quicker if, instead of wasting all that time and money on masking tape and paper. We simply covered all the parts not to be painted...in grease!...yes thats right, grease!

you could not possibly believe what a fu**ing mess that turned into.

It must have took 3 months to sort it out.

Its a wonder the customer never had us shot.


That was about the same time as we where practicing handbrake turns in the snow at a busy road junction.[well you do these things when youre 18 dont you?]

As for the bloke in the Anglia, well the stupid tw**t should have seen us and swerved, surely?

We "repaired" it for him, convincing him that we where experts in this field and he was very lucky to have hit us and not someone else!.....Jesus, I cant believe this now Ive read it!

That had me howling!!!!

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I was never gonna breath a word of this, BUT, the bloke must be dead by now.


I had a lock up garage by the side of an old house that was in flats, so nobody ever complained!
The year was 1965...got a mk1 Cortina to do as a foreigner.

Just a service and a few little jobs, it was a nice car,red, 2 door.
sort of GT lookalike.

Well I finished the job on Friday night and asked my brother to follow me home with it, about 4 miles, through the streets of Liverpool.

After about half a mile I couldnt see him in my mirror, turned around to see if it had broken down..

Found him just a few hundred yards behind, the nearside firmly impregnated in a lampost.

Time to call in a favour.

My mate with a bodyshop hooked it up and dragged it back to his place. 2nd hand quarter panel and door,lots of filler and paint

Delivered car to customer on Monday afternoon after explaining that the motor factors had delivered the wrong oil filter and couldnt get one until Monday! [pants well on fire]

He never realised his pride and joy had been well and truly stuffed.

[Meat-Head]

I

He never realised his pride and joy had been well and truly stuffed.


Don't know excat details, but theres a ubran rumor that states somebody somewhere has a car, that was sold NEW cheap, gets sold CHEAP, had several owners who ALL buy and sell it cheap.

The reason is when 'Stalk' delivered it NEW to the dealer, instaed of usual delivery method, it was delivered off the FRONT of the truck on to it's nose.

Not sure excat details, but was kissed better and sold cheap.

Now CONFIREMED rumor, the front wheels are ever so slightly 'out' from the back ones.

Nobody not even the King, and his horses can get it back in line.


Did hear about somebody had a car scrubbed a tire in a WEEK!

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

Don't know excat details, but theres a ubran rumor that states somebody somewhere has a car, that was sold NEW cheap, gets sold CHEAP, had several owners who ALL buy and sell it cheap.

The reason is when 'Stalk' delivered it NEW to the dealer, instaed of usual delivery method, it was delivered off the FRONT of the truck on to it's nose.

Not sure excat details, but was kissed better and sold cheap.

Now CONFIREMED rumor, the front wheels are ever so slightly 'out' from the back ones.

Nobody not even the King, and his horses can get it back in line.


Did hear about somebody had a car scrubbed a tire in a WEEK!

I have a customer with a 207 he bought new from local pug dealer, very cheap, that had fallen off transporter!

My son had an import bmw new delivered on transporter, on top deck of transporter was an audi TT with a very flat roof [it had bounced under a bridge].
I wonder how many new cars have had attention and customer never knows?

[dik]

Did hear about somebody had a car scrubbed a tire in a WEEK!

I fitted some wishbones to I think an Astra? Without checking them against the old ones, the ones I fitted were about an inch longer ball joint to inner bushes, sent it out last thing on a Friday without driving or aligning it, Monday he was back with the tyres down to the cords

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

I fitted some wishbones to I think an Astra? Without checking them against the old ones, the ones I fitted were about an inch longer ball joint to inner bushes, sent it out last thing on a Friday without driving or aligning it, Monday he was back with the tyres down to the cords

bet it handled well with lots of neg. camber.

[Meat-Head]

ON TOPIC

Must have been asleep other day, reversing out dearest car in yard to dump in multistory park, nextdoor are in their van, 6 of thrm round it, guy hoots horn, i drives off looks in mirror, dhl up arse, think i pulled out without loooking

lucky

[smirnoff_rules]

l put some pads in a toyota the other week while my lad was doing an mot , l went out when he came back and told him to get of the ramp , u guessed it lol drove straight into the metal fence outside lol , never seen a lad so white lol ,, l stopped laughing when l found out is was a 400 note repair

[Meat-Head]

400 is 'good' this thing was ?10k worth i was lucky with<br><br>so if he was into dogging that would not have happened!

[scoot]

I remember in the early nineties a very rare 1930 s mercedes was brought in from the states for restortion and was sold before the job was even started for i.2 mil or something stupid like that . It was flown into heathrow and the mechanic decided to drive it in to central london, it had been a museum piece in the states .He was tootling along the motorway when the left hub decided to let go and went over the ditch .Some geniass had put the knock on/off hubs on the wrong sides and they were loosening while driving the chassis was twisted but the new owner never knew .car transporters became very popular after that

[NZBrakelathes]

I once forgot to do up 1 caliper bolt
Top of caliper rolled into wheel locking the car up with a truck sniffing its ass!
Not good was for local big dealer.
Lucky still carried on working with them for years later
Car came on truck
Hour later sourced a bolt and replacement wheel as it cracked with caliper getting stuck in it.

[Meat-Head]

About 2 months ago fitted a part to a car and somehow managed to leave a something in there, this bit floating around buggerd up something cost like ?60 + VAT some you win, some you loose.

[darrenhyland]

last week I ****ed up an edc17 ecu on a 2010 Passat...........cost 1480 eurines for new ecu from stealers.............still clenching my teeth, fists and arse.

[Meat-Head]

[QUOTE=darrenhyland;2153959]edc17 ecu on a 2010 Passat...........cost 1480 eurines for new ecu from stealers.........QUOTE]


Can you explain how please, so the next DK member that is about to do what you did has no excuse to NOT donate to DK

ON TOPIC:-

Looking into crystal ball i'm going to programme something wrong next week causing about ?4.50 worth of damage

[Meat-Head]

Just remembered working on on of them 'floating caravans' moored up for 50 weeks of the year then used for fishing 2 weeks of the year, always smell damp and fusty

Never worked on one before, never seen one before, decided would try for a split second dabbing this live feed to this dead wire, flash pop, nil poi, then realised that one bank of fuses are positive the other bank are negatves, as the negative battery terminal blew off the battery

[maca]

WOW and you lived :top:

[Meat-Head]

WOW and you lived :top:

Yeah only 12 Volts you will also find that as a VIP member your entitled to do that as well, but the rules state to be sure to have a pair of wire cutters ready and it MUST be onlt for a split second.

[TULGEYWOODMAN]

In 1967 ish? , short of beer money again, now remember, I am a panel beater apprentice, NOT a mechanic,but seeing as i work amongst these types all day I assume it cant be any harder than my job.

Guy with a Morris 1100, not very old, but obviously out of warranty.Gearbox knackered, asks me can I sort it......................money opportunity here.

Yes I said, what you need is a gold seal gearbox from BMC, all yer troubles will be solved.

So he gets the car towed to our house . Luckily we have a "wide" back entry around the rear of the terraced house and I had long since modified the back wall with gates to enable me to do foreigners in the back yard. [ much to my Mothers anger, disgust etc etc]

After consulting with fellow apprentices in the garage where I worked [unfortunately, a Ford dealership] I am convinced this will be a real earner for me.

bonnet off, big pole across the yard, block and tackle, undo every bleedin nut and bolt I can find, then start oickin` the engine and gearbox out.

Why did my Mum always shout ."Teas ready!" whenever you got to the good bit?.......... Just started to lift it.......................

In for my tea, whatever it was, then CRASH BLOODY HELL! what the fu** was that noise?

When I looked out of the window it was not a pretty site.

What was all that green stuff covering the dog? [and the washing on the line]

Bloody stuff squirting 30foot in the air, like the Green Giant was having a piss.

I am running round like a nutter, grabbing clothes off the line to wipe the bodywork in case it was something like brake fluid, My Mother battering me at the same time, for covering the dog in green piss and for ruining the washing. Next door looking over the wall shouting that his tomatoes where ruined.....all in all, not going too good..

Then, the car slowly sinks to one side with a sulk.

Thankfully the excretions had stopped and are now little more than a dribble.
The engine and box had landed in a very uncomfortable position, snapping the schrader valve on the hydrolastic unit, thus releasing the fountain of harmless [I found out later] water and alcohol.
Undaunted by this mishap and borrowing a pump from a local BMC garage [without them knowing], the valve replaced, the suspension topped up with good old Liverpool tap water, all looked good. I will not go into details about learning to split the engine and box..............but will say only this.........Many thanks to Autorex from Litherland, for supplying a perfect secondhand gearbox and even bigger thanks to my mate Tony who mixed a perfect one pint tin of gold , just like the factory!

So the punter got his car back with a "gold seal" gearbox, all running well.
I never , ever did any mechanical foreigners after that.

[Meat-Head]

This is one from some bloke in a field in hampshire

1989 10% hill ERF lorry OVERloaded with potatoes, missed a gear, did something wrong going uphill. Lorry stops, engine stops, lorry goes backwards, engine goes backwards.

*BIT OF STORY MISSING*

Another lorry comes out to tow the dead lorry away, leaving somebody else to now on a hill finish the journey for the trailer load of potatoes, on a HILL start

[alessioblaupunkt]

Next was a diesel Astra van in for service, I told the lad to put the air filter back on, he did, I checked it, where?s the washer is said, don?t know he said, it was there when you took it off I said, don?t know he said, you didn?t drop it down the inlet did you, I said, NO he said, so he found another and put that on. About 4 months later owner calls me car on motorway clang clang clang and stops, gets it back to workshop, I pull of the head and guess what, there is the missing washer holding one of the inlet valves open

Similar story here:
1 cyl Lombardini hand start 4 stroke petrol engine (big lawn mower): customer said "engine not starting and fire from the inlet pipe"
I pull of the head, watch the block, piston is ok, watch on the left and found inlet valve open with a screw between block and valve.
Did the possible to remove the screw carrying attention to not drop it in the block...it drops.
Instant pain, then...idea!
Engine was lightweight, so turn it 180 degrees upside down, shake shake shake, and the screw come off. And some black oil in my trouser.
Inspect the inlet valve in the block and found a "big washer"?
Shake shake shake, and the "big washer"come off.
Inspect where the screw and the "big washer" comes...from the carb! The washer is the carb flat valve!. Try to put it back and realized the engine need a new carb because the loosen screw damaged a part that couldn't be replaced. New carb in, inlet valve was sane, top up the oil, start the engine, play with the 2 carbs screw, warm up, rev up.
Brand new and easy to hand start.


Immagine if the screw didn't drop in the block...the flat valve would sit in the block and one day destroy the engine.


The real f*** up now:
1) the jack...I was young and put it under the car where the rear seat compartment is.
The metal takes minutes to fold, that's why the car lower a little.

2) '90 Jeep Cherokee II serie, not starting. A senior mechanic ask me to help him to check for spark. No spark. He told me: try a VW distributor, it's similar, spin it by hand and watch for spark. I made an homemade 3 wires electric connector for the distributor, turn the key on, spin it by hand while the senior was doing a scan, the wires on the connectors touched together, fu**ed ecu. Try to open ecu and realized it has epoxy in it so dustbin for the ecu. But I think the entire car was sent to the scrap-yard: too expensive and had a damage on the front body.

[Meat-Head]

BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER

TODAY

Somebloke brought in his 1984 Ford Capri Ghia
in with a rattle behind the dash, nice guy easy job, got a whole draw full of self tapping screws out the job, whilst working it turns out he works with the *HOT* bird from the parts departmnt, that was a wasted oppertunity to ask him how does he manage resist the temptation of bending he over the desk and banging her every 5 mins.

Bet he would have loved to have been asked that, but if he mentioned the flowers and cards i would have shit out (failed lieing course) - use a false certificate.